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AcmeShorts

Shorts from TheBuyer

  1. "Summer Sausage" introduced to Acmeshorts by TheBuyer on February 18, 2003
  2. Frankenstone and Lenny v. Matza and Snow - The "Asskicking" by TheBuyer on August 19, 2003
  3. Jon Matza attracts many ladies. by TheBuyer on October 24, 2003
  4. Tournament #1 - Winner: Craig Lewis by TheBuyer on March 01, 2004
  5. Tournament #2 - Winner: Mr. Pony by TheBuyer on March 22, 2004
  6. Highest rated short by a Hawaiian Guest Author by TheBuyer on April 08, 2004
  7. Raccoon Diet - fuck Atkins, try this. by TheBuyer on April 15, 2004
  8. District Supervisor Weiss was puzzled. by TheBuyer on April 21, 2004
  9. Obligatory Shit Short by TheBuyer on April 22, 2004
  10. First short written by a foreigner; Canadians by TheBuyer on April 26, 2004
  11. Barry, wife Lynne, and daughter Dawn were all sitting around the dining room table... by TheBuyer on April 27, 2004
  12. Both men lay motionless on the smooth, concrete floor. by TheBuyer on April 30, 2004
  13. Small town mmenttaliities and extra keystrokes.. by TheBuyer on May 01, 2004
  14. My Generic Love Note by TheBuyer on May 12, 2004
  15. Channelling a Dirty Old Man by TheBuyer on May 12, 2004
  16. Barry, Lynne, Dawn and the puppy by TheBuyer on May 14, 2004
  17. zombie internet dating by TheBuyer on May 16, 2004
  18. Delivery by TheBuyer on May 21, 2004
  19. Jacobsen held his breath and waited for the shooting to stop. by TheBuyer on May 21, 2004
  20. Barry, wife Lynne and daughter Dawn were all in the backyard enjoying a beautiful spring day. by TheBuyer on May 25, 2004
  21. Goddamn it, I miss that guy. by TheBuyer on June 02, 2004
  22. The Remarkable Tantrum of Dr. Kwargwark by TheBuyer on June 02, 2004
  23. 1. Take Me Away - 3:05 by TheBuyer on June 04, 2004
  24. Another Round For The Couple At Table 306 by TheBuyer on June 09, 2004
  25. Tournament #3 - Winner: Will H. Disney by TheBuyer on June 10, 2004
  26. by TheBuyer on June 10, 2004
  27. by TheBuyer on June 10, 2004
  28. What he would do. by TheBuyer on June 14, 2004
  29. -omitted-5-oct-04 by TheBuyer on June 16, 2004
  30. Dogfight by TheBuyer on June 17, 2004
  31. The deer don't drink the water where the river passes my front gate. by TheBuyer on June 18, 2004
  32. Mobius Trip by TheBuyer on June 19, 2004
  33. My New Country Music Song by TheBuyer on June 22, 2004
  34. I suffer from two irrational fears by TheBuyer on June 23, 2004
  35. Seven thousand Macedonians in full battle array by TheBuyer on June 30, 2004
  36. Kyle climbed down off his horse and took a shit in the sagebrush by TheBuyer on July 01, 2004
  37. Three Open Letters [All At The Same Time] by TheBuyer on July 05, 2004
  38. On stage with her bodhran, Melanie wailed, by TheBuyer on July 08, 2004
  39. The Last Thing Craig Lewis Ever Did. by TheBuyer on July 15, 2004
  40. Leonard - Prologue by TheBuyer on July 15, 2004
  41. Leonard - Part 1 by TheBuyer on July 15, 2004
  42. Leonard - Part 2 by TheBuyer on July 15, 2004
  43. Leonard - Part 3 by TheBuyer on July 22, 2004
  44. Leonard - Part 4 by TheBuyer on July 25, 2004
  45. Lassie came dashing in and the feeling of emergency filled the room. by TheBuyer on July 26, 2004
  46. Mr Pony Fan Fiction - Elsewhere On The Day Smartie Jones Didn by TheBuyer on July 27, 2004
  47. Leonard - Part 5 - Part 6 - Done. by TheBuyer on July 27, 2004
  48. Important Message Board Discussion - Lustre by TheBuyer on July 28, 2004
  49. Don't pass out first. by TheBuyer on July 30, 2004
  50. Letter of Reference by TheBuyer on August 01, 2004
  51. bonerman69 by TheBuyer on August 09, 2004
  52. A Specific Numer of Bees Are Introduced to Acmeshorts by TheBuyer on August 16, 2004
  53. Pride and the Downfall of the Guest Author by TheBuyer on August 17, 2004
  54. RE: My Feces, Scent of by TheBuyer on August 23, 2004
  55. The Hilarious Children In A Hospice by TheBuyer on August 25, 2004
  56. The Hilarious Jew Across from The Hospice by TheBuyer on August 30, 2004
  57. When Kate turned six, she got a birthday present from her brothers and sisters. by TheBuyer on September 08, 2004
  58. Rule #14 by TheBuyer on September 09, 2004
  59. Terminal Disease by TheBuyer on September 15, 2004
  60. Tournament #4 - Winner: qualcomm by TheBuyer on September 26, 2004
  61. Victor stands before them, accused. by TheBuyer on September 28, 2004
  62. Short Lists by TheBuyer on September 29, 2004
  63. From the time she got home by TheBuyer on October 20, 2004
  64. It was by TheBuyer on October 21, 2004
  65. A penis woke up in the morning by TheBuyer on October 26, 2004
  66. God and his dumb kid by TheBuyer on October 26, 2004
  67. Henry was delighted by TheBuyer on October 29, 2004
  68. Tournament #5 - Winner: Will H. Disney by TheBuyer on November 09, 2004
  69. by TheBuyer on November 09, 2004
  70. Ramsay was a virgin by TheBuyer on November 12, 2004
  71. A Hole by TheBuyer on November 13, 2004
  72. The Sweet Kittens Play In A Pile of Soft Things by TheBuyer on November 22, 2004
  73. How Working At The Drive-Thru Can Kill You by TheBuyer on November 23, 2004
  74. A Virgin Tries to Talk His Way Into a Blowjob by TheBuyer on December 02, 2004
  75. Asshole Dandruff by TheBuyer on December 08, 2004
  76. cocks and fucking by TheBuyer on December 28, 2004
  77. John watched by TheBuyer on January 12, 2005
  78. To be accurate, I only drink when I'm already high by TheBuyer on January 13, 2005
  79. Dave set his coffee down by TheBuyer on January 18, 2005
  80. To initiate guys into our soccer club by TheBuyer on January 21, 2005
  81. Tournament #6 - Winner: qualcomm by TheBuyer on January 25, 2005
  82. by TheBuyer on January 25, 2005
  83. I have these dreams about throwing up by TheBuyer on January 28, 2005
  84. I spent an hour by TheBuyer on February 04, 2005
  85. The Three Brothers by TheBuyer on February 10, 2005
  86. Dear everyone, by TheBuyer on February 22, 2005
  87. The Ear by TheBuyer on February 28, 2005
  88. Joe and the Insurgents by TheBuyer on March 03, 2005
  89. I quit my job the day I won the lotto. by TheBuyer on March 03, 2005
  90. new guy by TheBuyer on March 17, 2005
  91. retarded cat by TheBuyer on March 24, 2005
  92. group by TheBuyer on March 31, 2005
  93. The Healing Hands of Christ by TheBuyer on April 06, 2005
  94. My Name is Chester by TheBuyer on April 08, 2005
  95. Dead Author by TheBuyer on April 09, 2005
  96. Tournament #7 - Winner: Jon Matza by TheBuyer on April 12, 2005
  97. Jeffry sat on his fluffy duvet by TheBuyer on April 12, 2005
  98. I used my Dremel tool to cut a real sweet quarter inch bevelled groove in my skull by TheBuyer on May 19, 2005
  99. My Little Pony and me have done nothing wrong by TheBuyer on May 25, 2005
  100. David could see by TheBuyer on May 26, 2005
  101. The Day of The Kittens by TheBuyer on June 01, 2005
  102. qualcomm by TheBuyer on June 09, 2005
  103. FU by TheBuyer on June 09, 2005
  104. God was sitting in his office by TheBuyer on June 09, 2005
  105. And the meeting of the Order Commenced by TheBuyer on June 10, 2005
  106. feelings by TheBuyer on June 16, 2005
  107. "good guy" by TheBuyer on June 16, 2005
  108. clove hitch by TheBuyer on June 16, 2005
  109. TV coroners always eat sandwiches by TheBuyer on June 17, 2005
  110. pentultimate by TheBuyer on June 17, 2005
  111. retards by TheBuyer on June 20, 2005
  112. mom and dad by TheBuyer on June 22, 2005
  113. Troy sat on a bench fiddling with his tink-tink. by TheBuyer on July 09, 2005
  114. Hobbema Alberta by TheBuyer on July 12, 2005
  115. Message Board Short by TheBuyer on July 15, 2005
  116. an by TheBuyer on July 26, 2005
  117. Two puppies by TheBuyer on July 28, 2005
  118. Affirm/agree by TheBuyer on August 04, 2005
  119. Something smelled like shit. by TheBuyer on August 05, 2005
  120. Brian locked the door to his office and wandered over to the window by TheBuyer on August 09, 2005
  121. Doctor Gevelder by TheBuyer on August 09, 2005
  122. retard's dozen by TheBuyer on August 17, 2005
  123. balls by TheBuyer on August 19, 2005
  124. The Unfettered Wisdom of Dylan Danko by TheBuyer on August 20, 2005
  125. I found the woman by TheBuyer on August 25, 2005
  126. My cow and my wife. by TheBuyer on September 03, 2005
  127. Dave sat still by TheBuyer on September 17, 2005
  128. To my guts by TheBuyer on October 05, 2005
  129. awkward by TheBuyer on October 19, 2005
  130. Martin drank a lot of milk by TheBuyer on November 19, 2005
  131. men stink by TheBuyer on November 30, 2005
  132. 2000 by TheBuyer on December 19, 2005
  133. “Hi, mom, this is Veet by TheBuyer on February 12, 2006
  134. My asshole glows from deep inside me. by TheBuyer on August 24, 2006
  135. i'm going to kill your children by TheBuyer on January 23, 2007
  136. I think I hyperextended my elbow hailing a taxi. by TheBuyer on January 25, 2007
  137. Joe and Henry broke into a liquor store one night by TheBuyer on January 25, 2007
  138. A force nine gale slashed it's way south from Newfoundland by TheBuyer on January 30, 2007
  139. Word Count: 69 by TheBuyer on September 12, 2007
  140. corrine's story by TheBuyer on December 06, 2007
  141. They found the decedent inside his vehicle by TheBuyer on January 19, 2011
  142. unavailable by TheBuyer on January 22, 2011