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The Molecule ran into the public bathroom and into the stall. With the dexterity of one who’s been there before he flicked the plastic lever up and down in rapid succession. He pulled out the toilet seat ass protector, and furiously undid his jeans.
The ass protector crinkled under the weight of his ass.
FFFFRRRRRBBBBBBBBBBBBRRWWWHAAAAAAMMMMMMMM
The air in front of the turn was cleared, and it slipped out with a faint squishing sound, settling in a coil at the bottom of the bowl.
The Molecule stood, keeping his body bent forward. This was to avoid the raw shit from spreading, like cream cheese on a bagel, between his ass cheeks.
He looked into the bowl
Yep! Just as he had thought, yesterday’s corn was there!
He had been very careful to chew the corn thoroughly. Really destroying the kernels between his teeth. And yet, there they were, dotting the brown mass of the turd.
They had re-shaped themselves into perfect little corn nuggets again!
He sat back down on the seat, the ass protector crinkled.
Someone walked in.
As he wiped his ass, the Molecule pondered his next experiment.
What would happen if he picked the corn out of the turd, and ate them again.
Would they re-shape themselves again?
He was still wiping when someone walked out.

Date Written: June 10, 2004
Author: mr.coffee
Average Vote: 4.4

Comments:
06/16/2004 Ferucio P. Chhretan (5): Hey, what would happen if you pulled a Spurlock and only ate corn for a week or so. Just corn. Would you produce cobs? Five stars for spreading some raw shit.
06/16/2004 John Slocum (4): This Molecule is a scientist. He is an organized thinker.
06/16/2004 Mr. Pony (4): He always seems to wait until he has to dash for the bathroom. Is this a psychological issue, or could it be that the Molecule's Doo-Doo Nerve is malfunctioning, and he should go to the doctor right away?
06/16/2004 scoop (4): The Molecule is back -- and he's shitting harder than ever!
06/16/2004 Benny Maniacs (5): This one is deceptively simple. Nice bagel metaphor.
06/16/2004 Will Disney: is this from fabled guest participant sniffthecorn?
06/16/2004 Jon Matza (4): "The air in front of the turn"--I spent a few moments excitedly thinking "turn" must be an obscure synonym for bowel movement. Then I realized w/sadness it's just a typo for 'turd'.
06/16/2004 anonymous: I'm afraid you're right. Spelling mistakes are really unacceptable!
06/16/2004 John Slocum: Oui, c'est vrai!
06/16/2004 Mr. Joshua (5): I was pondering this very same thing just last week. Re: turn/turd, I assumed that 'turn'referred to one of the curves in the intestine, in which case it would make perfect sense. I advise you to take that stance, author.
06/16/2004 TheBuyer (4): Molecule can shit anywhere! I have like maybe, 6 toilets worldwide on which I can really get my movement on, you know? I mean really get it on proper.
06/17/2004 Pix (4): And 2 of em are in my house! Thank dog for fans..
06/17/2004 TheBuyer: ningún Pix, significo REALMENTE lo consigo encendido. Uno de ellos se ha destruido parcialmente en el deconstruction de mi hogar de la niñez, uno es accross el pasillo en mi viejo apartamento [ todavía tengo un snicker-snicker dominante ], uno está sin descubrir pero lo veo en mis sueños a partir del tiempo al tiempo, los otros tres... alas los otros tres que nunca hice voto a hablar de.
07/19/2005 Poop (5): Poop!