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Iím just waiting to meet the right girl. Seriously, most of the girls I meet are totally stuck up. Or they wonít give mouth. Or both. I mean, if I want a nice girl who also knows how to use her tongue, but isnít like a total slut. She should definitely have a vagina, donít get me wrong, but there's more to a woman that. That's my opinion, anyway. You donít like it? Eat scrota! Also, She ought to be good at pouring concrete. See I own a cement business. I know, I know, a lot of people have told me that that doesnít matter, but Iím looking at six figures net this year, and thatís just on my own contracts. Add in my sub work and weíre looking at a hell of a lot of business. And youíre trying to tell me that doesnít matter? And there was this chick I dated in Cleveland who would always make a big show out of picking up the check and opening the door for me. She would have been perfect, except the dumb bitch didnít know the difference between cement and concrete.

Date Written: July 15, 2004
Author: James K. Polk
Average Vote: 3.6667

Comments:
07/20/2004 Ewan Snow (2): Holy crap!
07/20/2004 qualcomm: i'm tempted to give what we authors condescendingly refer to in smoky backrooms as a "guest 4". why? because of that cherry last line.
07/20/2004 Ewan Snow: Yes, the last line is funny, but it's hard to tell if it was meant to be. What is the point of this F-ing thing?
07/20/2004 qualcomm: i think this is the point: "See I own a cement business."
07/20/2004 scoop (4): Last line is sweet. Give the author the benefit of the doubt, Snow. Have a heart.
07/20/2004 Ewan Snow: Great, point. Guess I lowballed this one.
07/20/2004 Jon Matza: Let's not get carried away here. The last line isn't THAT good.
07/20/2004 qualcomm: yeah but, "See I own a cement business."
07/20/2004 Ewan Snow: Well, it sort of is, Matza. I mean, do you know the difference? Or do you use the terms interchangeably?
07/20/2004 TheBuyer (4): this isn't sloppy or stupid enough to carry an accidentally funny last line. nicce.. guest to guest four, check.
07/20/2004 Ewan Snow: Buyer, what do you call "I mean, if I want a nice girl who also knows how to use her tongue, but isnít like a total slut."? It isn't even a sentence. That's not sloppy?
07/20/2004 qualcomm: ewan: i think if you remove the "if", it all makes sense. it was a typo, i wager.
07/20/2004 Ewan Snow: Maybe, but that doesn't mean it's not sloppy.
07/20/2004 qualcomm: typos aren't the same as sloppy writing. it's just a careless errOR
07/20/2004 TheBuyer: snow: i would call that something I'd completely overlooked because I'm also a slob. damnit, i thought I'd actually made a point for a change.
07/20/2004 TheBuyer: oh wait, I thought I fived this. Okay then. It's a little sloppy, "Also, She ought" for example.
07/20/2004 Stash (4): it's not all just in the tongue. "Eat scrota!" this was fun.
07/20/2004 Jon Matza: Do I know the difference? Please rephrase the question so it means something.
07/20/2004 Ewan Snow: Matza: the difference between cement and concrete, buddy
07/20/2004 qualcomm (4):
07/20/2004 Jon Matza: I looked it up--and now find the ending uproarious!
07/26/2004 Mr. Pony (4): This is pretty funny!