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"I'm feelin' good!" the anonymous patient said to his Saturday night special, Rosa. Rosa was electrically stimulating his various dendrites, the ones which gave him sexual feelings. Beside her, with his patient, was Dr. Styx Tromboski, from Columbia Medical School. She had him.

"Oh there, there, there!" and Rosa's patient shot his load. Rosa stripped his condom off, turned to the class in the operating theatre, took a three-pointer into the waste-basket and bowed. The audience roared.

Next day was the finals, and Rosa felt she didn't have her game on. She was competing against Dr. Roger St.Clair, a John Hopkins preppy blancito with an annoyingly perfect jaw. The announcer spoke into the PA:

"And surgeons ready yourselves, three, two, one: scratchy roof of mouth." Rosa was off, but Roger seemed to be a lazer of focused energy next to her. They moved around their respective patients - and for a nanosecond, their arms touched one another. Rosa's anesthesiologist was hungover, and Rosa had to wait before taking the saw to the patient's brain. Not good. Fifteen minutes later, while Rosa was still excavating the parietal lobe, Roger St.Clair's patient was making that sucking noise, trying to scratch the roof of his mouth. The audience cheered for the rich fuck. Rosa congratulated him. He had won this battle.

Afterwards, Rosa would flirt with, socially humiliate and then bed Dr. St.Clair, in that order; having ruled him with her autocratic Latino sex, the finals would be hers.

Date Written: July 16, 2004
Author: Benny Maniacs
Average Vote: 3.4

Comments:
07/20/2004 Will Disney (3): i wasn't crazy about this but i did enjoy the last sentence. 3.5 stars!
07/20/2004 qualcomm: i can't stand this. slocum, you should be ashamed.
07/20/2004 scoop: What the fuck is going on here?
07/20/2004 Ewan Snow (3): Scoop: where?
07/20/2004 qualcomm: this broad rosa competes with others in a game to see who can more quickly simulate perceptions in patients by stimulating their brains directly with electrical impulses.
07/20/2004 Ewan Snow: Yes, which is a good idea for a short. The short itself was not that great, I thought. But OSS, why did you dislike it so?
07/20/2004 qualcomm: i agree, the idea was dandy. but, as scoop's perplexity attests, it was really confusing. also, not very funny. and don't even get me started on "lazer of focused energy"
07/20/2004 TheBuyer (3): great idea but slightly undercooked.
07/21/2004 John Slocum (3): Wrong again, OSS. Except for the science things, what is Slocum to you about this?
07/21/2004 qualcomm: nothing. medical stuff was my only clue. i was taking a wild guess that i knew was probably wrong.
07/25/2004 scoop (5): I think part of my confusion about this one is that I thought "Saturday night special" referred to the cheap and ubiquitous guns that contributed to skyrocketing homicide rates in the late 80s and early 90s. It only furthered my confusion when the Saturday night special "shot its load." But 5 stars because I really dont want Maniacs to leave. I'm the carrot. I will let OSS/Feldspar/The Lerpa be the stick.