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This is what a soul looks like: mostly monochromatic pinks, swirling around loosely in the shape of a thread spool. Just magical enough that I've never doubted my mind's eye knowing it. Even at 13, masturbating for the first time in the basement bedroom while watching Family Matters -- my eyes were focused on the TV, my hands on myself; but I was thinking about the swirling pinks as the waves rolled, boiled and popped.
(The music in my house is loud)
I see it at the tea house when Leonard Cohen comes on. A bunch of unfocused book holders staring sideways into air. It's the ripe, bruised fruit brain that imagines the surprise of an old, loved lover walking in and sitting down an unknown two tables away. Just to have that moment of eye contact. But I digress....
(My heart rings for years afterward)
Tonight, I'll go to an unknown local bar with a favorite friend. I'll laugh, swallow a percocet down with a whiskey and I will be totally happy. With one eye on the door as it swings open and open and open. But these are those things...
(back of the mind)
(side of the gut)
(throat of the wrist)
Date Written: July 16, 2004
Average Vote: 2
I will ponder it some more.