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Re: Reference for Patric Urstadt
Dear Sir or Madam,
In regards to your request dated 15-June-04, I have indeed been permissed by Patric to speak as a reference of his character for the purposes of his potential employment.
Patric was terminated for eating at his desk. We have a fully equiped break-room and do not allow food at work-stations, a rule which had been made clear to him.
He does have redeeming qualities; he is punctual, and an earnest and hard worker with only a limited propensity towards procrastination and sloth. He very likely will not steal anything.
President and CEO, Kilo-Pascal-Pressure Inc.
PS - Off the record now- During the time Patric Urstadt was employed at Kilo-Pascal-Pressure Inc. there were no less than seven reported incedents of human excrement found in various places around the office i.e in a desk drawer, on chair, smeared on a window, etc. and at least once, excrement was thrown at a door during business hours and splattered on several people. Though it was never proved, we are fairly certain the excrement was used in this fashion by Patric.
Also, when I mentioned he was eating at his desk, that is all I'm officially allowed to say as per our lawyer. Still off the record, he used to catch a seagull near the dumpster out back every day at lunch. We were not allowed to terminate him for that directly, but he would eat it with his hands at his desk, which is blessedly against the rules and gave me the chance to legally turf that crap-flinging little shit-hawk eater - but you ain't heard that from me, dig?
Date Written: August 01, 2004
Average Vote: 4.1667