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I remember a year ago when Chazz approached me and asked if I'd be his lead drummer, which I thought odd at the time, because he was a stranger, and I was fishing.

"You want to be my baby's mamma?" Chazz had asked through gritted teeth, holding a knife in one hand and a bouquet of lilacs in the other.

"Absolutely!" I responded, which was also odd, because not only did I not own or know how to play drums, I had no desire to be Chazz's baby's mama. But that's how it came to pass. That's why I feed Chazz dollars so he can feed our baby girl. I go home, I cook, I clean, and I help Desmona with her homework. I go to PTA meetings and I shout "Listen, I'm that baby's mamma! Ain't no WAY you taking my baby out of school!" which seems to stir up great excitement, I guess because no one has actually threatened to take Desmona out of school. I embarrass her at ballet recitals, showing up unnannounced and declaring proudly "OOoo-eee, look at that baby girl! I'm that girl baby's mamma!" All in all, it's not so bad, and Chazz - he alright. Except for the ass-fucking. That I don't like.

Date Written: August 04, 2004
Author: Noah Simple
Average Vote: 3.125

Comments:
08/10/2004 John Slocum (3): This one has potential, not altogether realized.
08/10/2004 Will Disney (3): yep - it's not what you'd call a success, but it's got something about it. also, desmona is a good name. 2.5 stars!
08/10/2004 Mr. Pony: I'm on board with what you fellas said. I add that the ass-fucking joke at the end doesn't do much for the rest of the story.
08/10/2004 TheBuyer: That's the killer, the ass fucking is. Almost three'd it but I smell a Polk and want to wait to see if I'm missing something.
08/10/2004 TheBuyer (4): Coworker leaned over my shoulder and did the dialogue, "Listen, I'm that baby's mamma! Ain't no WAY you taking my baby out of school!" in a funny voice and we cracked up laughing. Ya, good times...
08/10/2004 Mr. Pony (3): I totally meant to vote there.
08/10/2004 Ferucio P. Chhretan (3): I am in utter agreemence with everyone else. I was hoping for more of the lead drummer part too.
08/11/2004 Litcube (3): Oh no you di-int. You di-int jes do that.
08/12/2004 Dick Vomit (3): SQUIT, SQUit, Squit, squit...naptimes.
08/12/2004 Dolemite (3): So did Chazz catch a Red Herring or a MacGuffin when he went fishing?