home authors guest shorts graphical shorts


When I was up in Heaven, I really was expecting an office metaphor. I was expecting a hierarchy of angels milling around in a bullpen doing all kinds of angel jobs that for some reason involve typing and filing, and a special elevator that goes straight up to Godís office, which is on the top floor and really nicely decorated.

Thatís not what itís like, though.

Heaven is just like here. Like Earth. I mean, itís exactly like Earth. The only difference is that the people who are still alive on the first Earth arenít here, and everyone on this Earth remembers their lives on the first Earth. And what do people do? Nothing! They just sit around talking about what they did before! And everyoneís so jaded!

The bad part is this: It was starting to rub off on me. I was starting to feel as apathetic and world-weary as these nostalgic jerks! I was thinking that maybe Iíd kill myself a couple of times, just so I could feel innocent and energetic again!

Date Written: August 18, 2004
Author: Jacob Starfish
Average Vote: 3.6

08/23/2004 TheBuyer (4):
08/23/2004 Benny Maniacs (3): Started off really well, but kind of flattened out. You definitely need an end-of-act-two reversal in there or something.
08/23/2004 Mr. Pony (3): While I think I understand what the author is trying to do here, I'm really not feeling this one.
08/23/2004 Litcube (3): I'm feeling my penis.
08/24/2004 scoop (5): What do you mean "you think you understand" where the author is coming from, Pony. That's awfully presumptuous of you, no? NO? I think you have no idea what the author is getting and you're totally blowing it. You can't begin to plumb the sweet, hot depths of meaning this dude is going after. I mean, come on.
08/24/2004 Litcube: Would you like to feel my penis?
09/22/2004 Litcube: I think I've given everyone ample opportunity. No takers?
09/22/2004 Mr. Pony: Wait, you're a dude?
09/22/2004 Litcube: With a cock!
11/23/2004 Litcube: So.. No one? Really?