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I stared down at my naked, prostrate wife with shock, disbelief and revulsion. By what witchcraft had the wanton hussy in my bed inhabited the earthly vessel of the chaste, alabaster goddess I'd loved, wooed and won?
Minutes ago, during my manly exertions, a rosy flush had suffused my Gwendolyn's face. This taint of perversion had imposed upon my sweet, pristine bride the repellent aspect of a base and lustful harlot, and it had taken all my will to conceal my dismay. But matters soon turned more nightmarish still...for presently I became sensible that my adored one was churning her nether regions against mine in a distinctively lascivious manner.
I rolled off her at once. "Pray quickly!" I shouted, dragging her roughly to the floor and forcing her into a posture of supplication. "Dear Lord..." I turned my streaming eyes heavenwards to beg for the degraded creature's redemption; "...we entreat you to drive the abysmal contamination from this wicked slutís heart and forever purge the malodorous stench of her debasement from our dwelling." For many hours we knelt, weeping abjectly and praying.
At length I rose. With vigilant guidance my new bride might in time learn the diffident passivity that is a wife's most sacred duty. But now...! Like corrosive poison etching itself into my brainpan the remembrance of her comportment returned, sending waves of desolation through my soul. Longing to be free from her society at all costs I dressed myself hastily and, ignoring her pitiful cries, plunged outside into the cruel cold of the night.
Date Written: August 27, 2004
Author: Jon Matza
Average Vote: 4.8571