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I find tapeworms to be spiritually edifying. As a male of the species, my biology does not support the birthing of young, and you know what? Sometimes ejaculating two hundred million sperm is a little unsatisfying. Quantity doesn't trump quality.

I followed my wife's two pregnancies with envy, and I think a little bit of my soul dessicated and drifted away as I watched her joyous motherhood. Her connection with the children is closer than my own, and I watch their filial reciprocity with the same envious melancholy I feel when I watch negro strangers greet as old friends.

But now, in my darker moments, I try to relax, close my eyes, and think of my babies nursing within me, suckling on my blood, and partaking of my vitality to burgeon their sinuous little bodies. I sometimes rub my belly, imagining it ripe with young. The birthing, I estimate, is two weeks away. I hope they get along with Jack and Sarah.

Date Written: September 30, 2004
Author: Streifenbeuteldachs
Average Vote: 4

10/7/2004 Will Disney (4): 3.5 stars, buddy
10/7/2004 TheBuyer (5): bonus marks for staying funny without cussing.
10/7/2004 qualcomm: negro
10/7/2004 TheBuyer: ...shit.
10/9/2004 Litcube (3): I'll make this count.
10/9/2004 scoop (4): Like the tone. That's right the tone. I like it. You gotta problem with that? Well screw you.
10/10/2004 Litcube: I don't like your tone.