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I was just sitting here, stupidly looking at old e-mails from my most recent ex-girlfriend. We called doggie style "Backfield Motion." I can't really remember why, but it had something to do with the way she ground her ass into my nutsack when she got really excited.

But something that always pissed me off about her was the fact that she never let me cum on her face. I don't know. I just can't fully trust a chick until her forehead is covered in my hot, sticky jizz. It's not a Christopher Columbus thing; it's a trust thing. How can I trust you if you won't let me cum on your face?

That's why we broke up. No trust. Plus, she hated it when I tried to fuck her in the ass without warning. But it was mostly the cum-in-the-face thing.

Date Written: October 04, 2004
Author: The Rid
Average Vote: 3.2857

10/13/2004 Benny Maniacs (4): This is solid material. Solid waste material! I liked the Christopher Colombus reference.
10/13/2004 TheBuyer (3): let me try it in acmenewspeak... the last graph is dogwater but 'backfield motion' is taffy. 3.45
10/14/2004 Litcube (3): I understand the trust issue. With the face.
10/14/2004 Will Disney (4): not elegant, but sexy
10/14/2004 qualcomm (3): i think the punchline is too punchy (his "how dare you not trust me" contrasted with his own anal-sneak-attacking untrustworthiness)
10/14/2004 The Rid: Good point on the sneak attack. I could argue that I knew that the dichotomy existed, but the face issue was more important than the ass issue. But I'd be lying. It's all about me and my issues, and hers can go to hell!
10/14/2004 qualcomm: are you one of these canadians, the rid?
10/14/2004 The Fonch: The Canadians are all TheBuyer. He is insane, he doesn't even know he does it.

10/14/2004 The Rid: Nope.
10/14/2004 qualcomm: how'd you find acme?
10/14/2004 The Rid: I was reading a testimonial on Friendster (ugh) and the guy mentioned, jokingly, how much he hated Acmeshorts. I went to the website immediately and thought it was awesome.
10/14/2004 qualcomm: give us the link to that profile.
10/14/2004 The Rid: I read Will's testimonial of Texx http://www.friendster.com/user.php?uid=321547 and Tex's response led me to http://www.friendster.com/user.php?uid=271780 which had a mention of "Will's site."
10/14/2004 qualcomm: do you know texxx or will?
10/14/2004 The Rid: Texxx; I was in a band with him.
10/14/2004 TheBuyer: The Fonch, No one cares, but that explains a lot. Thank you for letting me know. Also you owe me for gas and cigarettes.
10/14/2004 The Finch: The Fonch, as far as I can tell, TheBuyer is only two of the "Canadians".
The Finch
10/14/2004 TheBuyer: Thank you The Finch, from all of me.
10/14/2004 Mr. Pony (3): I would have liked to have heard why the jizz-in-the-face was a trust issue; that is, if it was an interesting reason.
03/6/2005 deliciousbrains (3):