home authors guest shorts graphical shorts
When I throw parties, I like to entertain my guests with creative table settings. The theme I've chosen for my next party, a fondue, will be "The Heads of Dead Babies." I'm having some trouble, though, figuring out exactly how I want to execute this idea. On one hand, cutting the top of the child's head off, just above the eyebrows, and then flipping it over would be the easiest. On the other hand, using the part below that, the face part would have the most character. The problem that I'm running into with that idea is how do I keep the hot oil, chocolate, cheese, and other fondue ingredients from oozing out of the nose, mouth, ears, and eye-holes of the dead baby's head? I'm thinking of using tin-foil but I don't know.
This party idea is turning out to be more of a challenge than I thought! My wife just informed me that people might not want to eat out of the heads of these kids if they knew that I was fucking them while I killed them. Doesn't that just beat all? There goes my whole let's-put-Polaroids-around-the-table idea... I love throwing these parties, and I love crafts but this is getting stressfull.
Date Written: October 05, 2004Comments:
Average Vote: 2.8
10/15/2004 The Rid (3): I like the idea that there are people out there who love to plan parties and think that a dead baby's head would be a normal fondue pot; the idea that he finds it strange that people would find that awful is great. But the execution is only okay.
10/15/2004 TheBuyer (4): it's messy, but it's kind of funny. guest to guest 4.
10/15/2004 Ferucio P. Chhretan (3): See, you would have to heat from underneath to make it an effective fondue pot, and man, would that be an interesting combination of odors/flavors...
10/15/2004 Litcube (3): Hey, didn't you pound Fitz's sister? You did, didn't you (pound her)?
10/15/2004 anonymous: I blame the narrator for this short. He's a pansy that likes doing crafts and fucking babies to death. I, on the other hand, am very macho and I don't fuck. That's where the difficulty in writing this came from. I really wasn't feeling it.
10/15/2004 Yahzick: I fucked the shit out of Fitz's sister. Do you think he knows?
10/15/2004 TheBuyer: No dude, I just talked to him, he thinks we're screwing around.
10/15/2004 Litcube: Dude. Seriously? I thought he knew.
10/15/2004 Yahzick: He might know. There's a funny story about why he might know, too.
Y'see, he and I were drinking beer together at our closet-homo friend's house. We were outside smoking and I thought it would be funny to push him over and laugh at him. So that's what I did, I pushed him over a stump, laughed at him and said, "I fucked your sister, asshole!" he threw his beer at me. He might know.
10/15/2004 TheBuyer: oh fucked his sister, my mistake. He knows that.
10/15/2004 Litcube: By closet-homo friend, are we referring to TheDecline?
10/15/2004 Yahzick: The king of the stationary bicycle, TheDecline.
11/3/2004 Dick Vomit (1): I hate parties.