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Chauncey, a young man who had been raised by the twin shadows of solitude and iniquity, sat
at his computer in his gray boxer-briefs and a white t-shirt, reading his favorite website.

He read about a guy who wanted to hear a smutty English accent when he was having sex.

He read about a pornographic PowerPoint presentation.

He read about a guard who got aroused while mauling porn stars attempting to express themselves politically.

He read a detailed description of what a woman likes done to her vagina.

Non-ironically, he came.

Date Written: October 07, 2004
Author: Chance the Gardener
Average Vote: 3

10/18/2004 Will Disney: so this guy masturbates to acmeshorts? i feel violated!
10/18/2004 Dylan Danko: So, it wasn't particularly ironic that he came or was his ejaculation non-ironic?
10/18/2004 qualcomm: hey author, did you jack to my ipod short? huh?
10/18/2004 TheBuyer: I can't even get halfway through Peanut Butter and Salt Sandwich without at least a dribble.
10/18/2004 anonymous: OSS: I didn't, because it was before my time on the site! But I can if you want me to!
10/18/2004 Dylan Danko: I don't understand why I'm not getting an answer.
10/18/2004 Mr. Pony (4): I'm not so sure about the way the intro, or the list-buildup is handled, but the overarching sentiment behind the line that Dylan is unsure of the exact meaning of is fucking key, dude.
10/18/2004 Dylan Danko: Yes, Pony, yes. My Pony.
10/18/2004 Mr. Pony: Yay! For the record, I think that there was no irony surrounding the orgasm, at least in the mind of the cummer. It was earnest!
10/18/2004 TheBuyer: yuck.
10/18/2004 Litcube (4): I'll vote on your short, Author!
10/19/2004 Chance the Gardener: Dylan: No slight intended. As Mr. Pony says, the interpretation of that line is the point of the short, so I didn't think an explanation was useful. But I hope you liked it!
10/19/2004 TheBuyer: dude, were you seriously raised by the twin shadows of solitude and iniquity? Which one came to parent-teacher night?
10/19/2004 Dylan Danko (1): Indeed , I did!