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Gina was totally, like, the hottest girl I'd ever seen, okay? And one day she said, "Hey, Jeff? Can I, like, borrow five dollars? I forgot to bring my lunch and my mom so forgot to give me money today."

My God! Gina was taking to ME?!! "Um, yeah. Cool." I handed her some cash. All I had. I don't know how much.

"Thanks, Jeff." She gave me a smile and brushed past me and just nudged my crotch a little.

"Yeah. It's Dan, but that's cool."

Two weeks later, she hadn't paid me back. In fact, she'd been, like, avoiding me or something? But like, I needed to buy some food in the cafeteria and didn't have enough money, right? So I said: "Gina, do you have that five dollars? Like, cuz, I need it, you know?"

She batted her eyelashes at me. "Oh, Jeff. I'm sorry. I just, like, don't have it. I can totally give you half a sandwich for now, though."

That was it. First she borrows money. Then she like, ignores me.

I said, "Look, I don't need your like, moldy turkey on rye. So unless you're paying me back in blowjobs, you'd better whip out the damn ducats."

As she unzipped my pants, I thought, "This loan is forgiven."

Date Written: October 10, 2004
Author: The Rid
Average Vote: 3.8

10/21/2004 TheBuyer (4): Your collector notes would read
- tt dt dunned for pif---says cannot---says will make other arrangement, says will blow coll---please close file as SIF when blowjob is posted---thank you
10/21/2004 Streifenbeuteldachs (3): I liked the ducats line!
10/22/2004 The Rid: Looking back, this seems like a really long set-up for the punchline. Tho I still like the punchline.
01/31/2005 Mr. Negative (5): Not shitty.
01/31/2005 Mr. Pony (3): I feel this is hurt by its wildly implausible ending. Also, why is Dan so upset by the sandwich? I mean, he was hungry, right?
01/31/2005 The Rid: It's called fantasy, Pony. Fantasy, goddamnit.
01/31/2005 Mr. Pony: Well, is the punchline you refer to the wildly implausible ending, (Dan's fantasy?) or is it Dan's smarmy remark? Don't take this the wrong way; I'm just trying to figure out where you're coming from.
01/31/2005 The Rid: In all honesty, Pony, the ending is merely there to facilitate the line "So unless you're paying me back in blowjobs, you'd better whip out the damn ducats." That's the first thing that came into my head. I wrote the short around it. I didn't give the structure or anything too much thought. This short is just an excuse to use that line, which I thought was pretty funny. Of course, once I got into it, there was the whole, "Well, I could do that thing where maybe the hot girl talks to the guy, and maybe she secretly likes him, and maybe it ends with them together." But I still had to use the line. And there's always the possibility that she likes him and would've blown him anyway, just at a different time. I dunno. Make any sense?
01/31/2005 Mr. Pony: I think. I agree with you, it's a lot of weight for that punchline to carry, but I'm the first to admit that I've also been known to take silly ideas way too far. So.
02/24/2005 Jawbreaker (4): Sounds like something I'd do!
02/24/2005 TheBuyer: Want to borrow five bucks?
[like you didn't see that coming from a mile away]