home authors guest shorts graphical shorts


“Can I borrow your hack-saw?”

“What for?”

“I need to saw some things.”

“What things?”

“You know - some wood.”

“What wood?”

“I dunno, some 2 x 4’s. Why are you so curious?!”

“Well, you’ve never borrowed my tools before and, in fact, you’ve never used any tools before, as far as I know.”

“Look, there are no dead bodies in my apartment I have to cut into little pieces for easy disposal.”

“I didn’t say there were, just that you’ve never used tools before.”

“Oh…okay. But that’s not true, I’ve used tools before.”


“Well, like, a couple years ago.”

“What tools?

“Well, I had to put some screws in and do some hammering. You know.”


“So I used a screwdriver and a hammer. Those are tools, right?”

“Okay, fine. You can borrow my hack-saw.”

“Great, thanks.”

“You wanna hang out and read some magazines?”


Date Written: October 15, 2004
Author: Alfred P. Whitaker
Average Vote: 3.8333

10/25/2004 Will Disney (3): What kind of magazines? *Porn* magazines?
10/25/2004 Streifenbeuteldachs (3): Perhaps he has a coconute whose sweet, sweet innards he needs the saw to get at.
10/25/2004 TheBuyer (4): Can I borrow it after?
10/25/2004 Litcube (4): This sounds like Yahzick. But how is that possible? He's drilling for oil in the Frozen Northern Waste.. Perhaps.. Perhaps this isn't Yahzick after all. But, what if it is? What then?
10/26/2004 scoop (5): For Alfred P. Whitaker's first attmept (if you are who you say you are, Alfred P. Whitaker) then this is pretty good. Four point something rounded up.
10/26/2004 Mr. Pony (4): Welcome, Mr. Whitaker! You've taken your first step into a larger world!