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God and his his dumb kid were hanging out in the control room drinking beer. God was staring at the full ashtray, horrified, he wasn't even supposed to be smoking in there. He wasn't paying attention or he might have been able to stop the stupid little bastard.
"Hey, watch this," God's dumb kid said, fiddling with his zipper.
God's dumb kid hit the kill switch on Friction and all heck broke loose. The oceans of the Earth slid into the cities and the mountains and things went slipping about and flying around and all the knots on all the shoes came loose and all the cars went skating on all the roads and no one didn't end up on the floor or ground.
"Huh," said God's dumb kid.
God looked up and got an eyeful of the bullshit he'd have to have fixed. Not the earth, that was a complete writeoff, he was zoomed out on the big picture; everything was trashed. Trashed.
"Son," he said, putting his beer down, "Do you have any idea how long it took- your mother spends friggin years to make that and you just- she is going to kill us both. You've got to- I mean damnit son, you can't just- fuck! I simply don't know what the hell is wrong with you sometimes. Look at the Milky Way...Of all the idiotic- God, you're so damn dumb. It scares me sometimes, it really does. I am going to knock that smirk- Just get out of here, let me deal with this."
God drank the rest of the beer by himself and wished he had some magic powers or a time machine or something. He was so screwed it wasn't even funny.
Date Written: October 26, 2004
Average Vote: 3.8333