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Jeffery, severely handicapped, grabbed his pudgy belly, opened his mouth wide, and honked out a furious laugh through his thick neck, trying to jump, but not leaving the ground. He rapidly bobbed up and down for a while, bending at the knees, clenching his fists. This was his day to dance at Terry Fox Senior Secondary’s annual talent show. He violently shook his fists around his mid-section. Mrs. Sumners had to calm him down some behind the curtain. He was so excited!

In his baby blue leotard and tutu, he stared at Mrs. Sumners for a while and blew air through his nose.

As his name was called in the gymnasium, 2,000 students erupted in cheer! This was his time! People were excited to see him! Squealing, Jeffery galloped his large body onto the stage, swinging his arms wildly and shaking his head left and right.

The gym silenced. Jeffery grabbed his belly, crouched low, and vibrated his fists. He lurched to the side attempting a cartwheel, but only managed to rotate his torso. Slowly, grunting, he fell over. From his vantage point, Jeffery could see Mrs. Sumners motioning encouragement from behind the curtain. “Keep going, Jeffery!”

Mouth agape, Jeffery sat there on stage and stared down his nose at Mrs. Sumners.

Date Written: October 29, 2004
Author: Litcube
Average Vote: 3.28571

11/8/2004 Will Disney: So this is his dream the night before? Or what actually happened?
11/8/2004 TREE (2): I think I need some concept of the size of Jeffery before I can give more than 2* for this . It feels like it wants to be good but falls short.
11/8/2004 TheBuyer: inside short?
11/8/2004 qualcomm: i really like the physical descriptions of the retard (staring down his nose especially), but i wish there'd been more to the story.
11/8/2004 Mr. Pony (4): Yeah, that last line's worth something.
11/8/2004 qualcomm: also, the mean-spiritedness, combined with the realism and mundanity, leave one with a dirty, laughing-at-an-actual-real-life-retard feeling. shame.
11/8/2004 TheBuyer (4): Every year some bellowing hug-tard insisted on doing a number in the talent show and every year it was a complete disaster. I was always rooting for him but ultimately just felt bad for laughing at the poor bugger. shame indeed.
11/8/2004 Dick Vomit: Hug-tard? Can I vote for a comment?
11/8/2004 Streifenbeuteldachs (3): "vibrated his fists". BTW, isn't it "Jeffrey"?
11/8/2004 anonymous: Streifen, I'm not sure why, but I used my real name in this short for the character. Maybe because I really do honestly think that I'm retarded. My mom was drunk and spelled it "Jeffery". I shit you not. Ask TheBuyer.
11/8/2004 TheBuyer: yup. does this mean I can call you "Jeffy" now like normal?
11/8/2004 The Rid (3): I'm not in love with this, but bonus points for making fun of tards.
11/8/2004 Mr. Pony: I may have misread this! In that last line, I assumed that Jeffery was giving Mrs. Sumners a look that was supposed to mean something along the lines of "Are you serious? I mean, come on, look at me; I'm a bit of a retard here. Kind of irrelevant if I go on or not, wouldn't you say?" Was I wrong, author? Is the look just a vacant stare?
11/8/2004 qualcomm: yeah, i think that was just retard-look, poony.
11/8/2004 qualcomm: poony.
11/8/2004 anonymous: Poony, your ending is better than mine, and I'm sorry you misread this. You can give me the usual two'er next time.
11/8/2004 anonymous: {sound of single violin is heard}
11/8/2004 anonymous: {'Fuck You' is heard}
11/8/2004 Mr. Joshua (4): Tardos aren't allowed into talent shows in the States. So maybe you should consider emigrating here, The Buyer!
11/8/2004 Litcube: Buyer, wasn't it "JeffyCake" or "JeffyBeans?"
11/8/2004 TheBuyer: I'd move just for the adverts during the superbowl.
11/8/2004 TheBuyer: Jeffy - not that I remember.
02/10/2005 John Slocum (3):
07/23/2005 Mr. Pony: Shane? Was that you, as anon_user_a?
07/23/2005 Klause Muppet: Hello, Mr. Pony! What are you doing here?
07/23/2005 Litcube: I was logged in as Klause. I am sorry.
07/23/2005 Mr. Pony: Reesurch?