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You know what's depressing? Well, it's pretty easy to imagine the hypothetical troubles of someone richer, more famous, or just plain more successful than you are in order to make yourself feel better. I used to get all down back in high school whenever I'd see Brock, the cheerleading captain, with all the middle-of-the-road, not-too-pretty girls I imagined hooking up with. But then I thought about the troubles Brock would have when deciding who amongst this bevy he'd take to prom. It was probably pretty stressful for him, and ultimately, unrewarding. That would make me feel a little better about my station in life.
But now, as I sit here watching "The Beach" on television, I'm starting to grow angry, and I'd like to amend my theory. You see, as I really start to think about this, I realize that when I was in college, for instance, I'd get all worked up about a particular class I didn't like, or a bad grade I might get on a poorly written paper, without stopping to think, for even one moment, how fortunate I was just to be in college in the first place. I could've been denied admission, living a much less satisfying and privileged life. And yet, I was taking things for granted.
And so, with this in mind, as I watch the overrated and undernourished Leo DiCaprio on my TV screen, I can no longer take solace in the fact that he is no more happy than I, no more satisifed than I, etc. Because despite the fact that he may be constipated from time to time, or may wake up on the 'wrong side of the bed,' his primary trouble in life may be that Giselle won't take it in the butt. Now, she may take it every other which way you can think of. But that might not be good enough for Mr. DiCaprio, see? See what I'm getting at?
Date Written: November 09, 2004
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