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I took over the Chinese-exchange-student-bedroom next to the kitchen and left my brother to fend for himself on the second floor.

My dad was on a soybean kick that year, sprinkling them on everything from oatmeal to ice cream. An industrial-size bag of beans sat by the fridge with a measuring cup inside.

I scooped out a quarter cup, took them to bed, and stuck them up my nose.

It made for a pretty good time lying there. I'd do 2 or 3 at a time, get them really far up for an explosive blow. Eventually, greed got the better of me and I pushed in 6 or 7. I blew hard. 4 flew out. I blew again and got another gooey bean. But the last 2 were hopelessly lodged.

I blew blood, I blew green, I even tried squirting water up there. The beans stayed put. If anything, they crept further out of range.
I fell asleep, crying softly, and thinking I would certainly wake up dead.

Date Written: November 21, 2004
Author: cuntry
Average Vote: 3.8333

Comments:
11/29/2004 Will Disney: Good for you, author. You may get slaughtered in the ratings, but good for you anyway!
11/29/2004 Streifenbeuteldachs: See now, wasn't revealing your story cathartic? Do you still have the beans up your nose?
11/29/2004 Litcube (4): Something tells me this will be the only four. I'm half retarded, and the run of retarded shorts of late makes me laugh. Much like a retard laughs, like, with honking and squeals.
11/29/2004 TheBuyer (4):
11/29/2004 The Rid (3): Decent.
11/29/2004 Benny Maniacs (4): Yeah! Cry yourself to sleep sissy! Yeah!
11/30/2004 Mr. Pony (4): i appreciate the truth & truths behind this. killer last line.
12/2/2004 scoop (4): Yeah like totally "killer" dude. Completely "killer" That lst line. "Killer."