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It was 4 AM and the microwave was beeping. Jake was home. I got out of bed, peed without bothering to close the bathroom door, and headed into the kitchen.

He sat at the table with his back to me, hunched over a plate of Chicken Divan.

“Hey,” I said.

He looked up. My brother was hot. Always had been.

“You’re home,” I said.

He grunted and went back to his casserole.

"Hi, silly," I hugged him from the side. I patted him on the head. I smoothed his hair. I squeezed his shoulder, a satisfying bunch of thick flannel in my hand. He leaned back suddenly, his head cradled in my arms. The eyes flickered left/right.

“Does my hair look thinner?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” I said. “I don’t think so.” I touched his hair tentatively. It was thick and curly and shiny black. I moved my fingers through it to get a better grip. The lush tendrils tickled my palms.

“On top,” he directed. “I’m seeing a lot of scalp.”

I separated the curls. I coaxed a piece of dandruff along a strand until it fell free and fluttered to the floor.

“Well?” he asked.

“You have great hair,” I said. “It’s soft.”

He jerked away. “Put some clothes on,” he muttered.

Date Written: November 28, 2004
Author: cuntry
Average Vote: 4.1538

12/3/2004 Will Disney: who wrote this? pix?
12/3/2004 TheBuyer: god, i hope not.
12/3/2004 Will Disney: was it a broad, though?
12/3/2004 TheBuyer (4): pretty much have to be, eh. good short too. unsettling.
12/3/2004 Litcube (4): Agree. Walked the line. 3.57
12/3/2004 The Rid (4): Yep.
12/3/2004 The Rid: I smell cuntry.
12/3/2004 Litcube: Is cuntry a dude or chick?
12/3/2004 Will Disney: She's a *lady*, thank you.
12/3/2004 Turgid (2): This isn't that *funny*.
12/3/2004 qualcomm (4): that's gross, cuntry
12/3/2004 Litcube: Is it supposed to be funny, Turgid? I'm not sure that *funny* is what the author is going for here.
12/3/2004 Turgid: Fair enough. But I thought that was one of the primary criteria for high esteem in the Acme charter. Correct me if I'm wrong.
12/3/2004 The Rid: It's been my experience that disturbing/weird also garners high marks.
12/3/2004 qualcomm: garner
12/3/2004 TheBuyer: try critical thinking before you rate something, your gut is wrong.
12/3/2004 Ewan Snow (5):
12/3/2004 Mr. Pony (5): This is fucking hot, you guys.
12/3/2004 Turgid: Sorry, next time I won't rely on random number theory to levy my reactionary vote. I see dissent isn't valued? And here I was sensing a very Canadian aesthetic to this whole site...Apologies, etc.
12/3/2004 Jon Matza (4): Cuntry may be a chick/lady, but the narrator here is male. Therefore you, the reader, are gay.
12/3/2004 Turgid: Crap.
12/4/2004 TREE (4): This makes me feel all ooogey in my belly.
12/4/2004 John Slocum (5): Sloc-dawg thought this was excellent. He enjoyed the teaser at the beginning which never 'sprang' to fruition, plus the excellent writing and details. It reminded him of Jimstein's latest, the one with the teasing prospect of a hot 3-some, and later he realized there was some core similarity between the 2 shorts. He theorized the similarity was the female authorship of the 2, but then realized he didn't know cuntry and couldn't say with definitive confidence that cuntry is female. He allowed that cuntry might be male, a circumstance that would torpedo his dumb theory. And even if cuntry were to turn out to be female, he realized he couldn't escape from the fact that his theory was dumb, and that, possibly, he himself is dumb, although he didn't really allow for that, it was just a fleeting thought-situation. Sloc considered several other trains of thought of inconsiderable consequence and then decided he should process last night's wine sales.
12/4/2004 Dylan Danko (5): An extra star for Shoe's comment below.
12/6/2004 Jimson S. Sorghum (4):
12/6/2004 senator (4): I was wondering if the author was male or female. That is one of the things I really like about this short. Incest is fun.
12/6/2004 Ewan Snow: Senator, I believe you meant to say "incest is best".
12/6/2004 senator: Nope, I clearly intended to say, "Incest is fun". "Incest is best", would be a very broad reaching statement. It does rhyme though...it has that going for it.
12/6/2004 Jon Matza: I defy you to name something better, senator.
12/6/2004 Ewan Snow: Ha!