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Burt strode executively to the whiteboard and squeaked off the cap to a Dry Erase marker. "Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Slow down, everybody! Timeout!" Burt was incredulous.
But, always in control, he spoke to those assembled in a level tone that conveyed fairness and authority. Never pointed the finger. What an awesome manager. "Ok? Let's back up. We all understand this is a crucial intiative. To grow our businesses, to broaden our brand, to service our audience in the manner they deserve--and to do all of this in a creatively challenging environment while meeting our quarterly challenges as outlined in our Goals Memo is foremost in everyone's mind. And I know performing up to one's potential can, at times, be rather exciting. However, there's a degree of civility I expect from each and every one of you and I most certainly demand that you respect each other. We may have conflicting ideas on how to approach our challenges, yes. And while those disagreements may add fuel our creative fires...we run the risk of getting burned if things get too...hot. Bottom line! We're all on the same team, people."
"Now, look." Burt squiggled some wet lines across the board then turned to face them.
"Ok? Alright? Now, let's try starting over. Susan, I believe you were speaking..." God, was he mint?
Date Written: November 30, 2004Comments:
Author: Dick Vomit
Average Vote: 3.4286
12/7/2004 TheBuyer: author, is this the whole thing? At the risk of looking stupdi, I'm trying to find a reason to give you the benefit of the doubt.
12/7/2004 anonymous: That is all there is, theBuyer. Yep. That's it.
12/7/2004 Dylan Danko: Is that last sentence supposed to be a question?
12/7/2004 TheBuyer: are they all on Sesame Street? burt, susan etc.
12/7/2004 TREE (4): This is hilarious. Burt is a 2 fisted asshole with an ego to match. Like almost every underqualified manager I have ever come across.
12/7/2004 anonymous: Danko: Just a rhetorical, like, "Isn't she beautiful?" theBuyer: I may have chosen my bland names poorly.
12/7/2004 Moe-Ron (4): good chart. if only everything in life were so clear.
12/7/2004 The Rid: I get it. But I'm not sure it's funny.
12/7/2004 TheBuyer: i'm going home for lunch now.
12/7/2004 anonymous: Dang.
12/7/2004 cuntry (3): love the 1st line but, have to say, i liked it better before the last line and the chart appeared. it was open ended and rife with possibility. for example, he's just pissed on the chart at the end, silencing the room, which is how i first read it. i'm a glutton for office humor. the office being... well... Pony?
12/7/2004 anonymous: Oopsies.
12/7/2004 Mr. Pony (4): This neither hurt me nor helped me, but the writing, which I liked, makes it a four. I imagine some very fine-tuned hand gestures being made my Burt's hands. Bert from Sesame Street chooses to spell his name differently, I think.
12/7/2004 TheBuyer (3): middle ground
12/7/2004 Litcube (3): Not bad.
12/7/2004 anonymous: I blew it!!!
12/7/2004 Litcube: You did not!
12/8/2004 John Slocum (3): Yes, Dick, you blew it. It's over.
12/8/2004 Dick Vomit: God dammit, you're absolutely right.
12/8/2004 Jon Matza: Russet use of 'mint', anyhow.