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Kevin gave up smoking and became a yoga instructor the week after he caught his fiance in bed with his sister's husband.

He opened every class with an optional 3 oms. He felt it was important that the oms not be mandatory, for what was the point of forced om-ing?

In general he refrained from telling his students what to do. Sure, he was there to "lead" class, this wasn't freakin' mysore after all, but still, he wanted everybody to be in the yoga shanti because they wanted to be there, not because...

Oh, Jesus this is boring. DULL. I suck. I fucking suck! Kyle threw down his pencil and stared at his floor. I suck. I'm a terrible shit writer who will never amount to anything and I should just kill my puppy because my dead grandmother will never be back and my mom popped pills when I was little and my dad was... my dad beat me with a belt, and one day...

Kyle squinted, watching the floor tiles blend together as his eyes filled with tears.

Bingo.

Date Written: December 07, 2004
Author: cuntry
Average Vote: 2.7143

Comments:
12/17/2004 hagit mizrachy (3): I'm certain I speak for everyone when I redundantly empathize, "From time to time we all have these feelings." Two empathy stars and one for the road...to self-actualization!!
12/17/2004 TREE (1): What the fuck? Sad when you have to publish crap like this. OH WOW masturbation in print.
12/17/2004 Great Satan: Acme Community: please remember to ignore TREE. Comments/votes like these are to be disregarded. 666
12/17/2004 anonymous: um, tree, i think you take yourself, and this short, a bit too seriously
12/17/2004 The Rid (2): Mluh. Do I need to explain myself on this one? I think not.
12/17/2004 Great Satan: Author, I assume you are TREE and you're one-starring and arguing with yourself in order to engage the larger community in this debate. We will not underestimate your nefariousness. If not, please return to ignoring TREE. 666
12/17/2004 TREE: HA HA HA HA HA ....what a moron you are satan. I hope the author finds out who you are and gets to express his/her self to you. Author I apologize for being blunt in my comments, it pisses me off when there seems to be no reasoning behind the vote. This short is lazy. It has no actual story except the author not being happy about writing crap. The end appears to be an epiphany but doesn't go anywhere with it.
12/17/2004 mr.coffee (1): cliche redundant junk as far as I'm concerned, although I enjoyed the last 2 lines.
12/17/2004 Dick Vomit: I think GS was kidding, TREE. Obviously, nobody thinks you're that cunning.
12/18/2004 TREE: Dick You are as big a loser as the Rid. It appears you have lost the ability to follow instructions. I hope you have not offended the Great Satan with your disobedience. Also would like to remind gs that he is a moron in case he has forgotten.
12/18/2004 Litcube (3): I thought this was kind of funny, actually. I've seen the "stop half way through, enter struggling writer scenario" before, but hwut-evar. I like how Kevin stared at the floor. I'm serious.
12/18/2004 TheBuyer (4): here's for the short plus one I owe you, ntry.
12/19/2004 Delta Dawn (5):
12/19/2004 qualcomm: hey delta, are you sure you're someone we don't know?
12/19/2004 scoop: Yeah, my friend Captain Crunch says he has a stand at the flea market right next to yours and that you guys watch each other's stuff when you need to make a run to the Port-A-John. So what's the story, fella?
12/20/2004 Ewan Snow: Do you creeps have a theory about Delta Dawn's identity, or are you just running your shorts up the flag pole to see who salutes?
12/20/2004 qualcomm: i thought it might be jimson, but she fived a short that dd five'd so if she is, that's mighty dishonorable.
12/20/2004 Ewan Snow: Jimson seems to know the song DD's name references. It's not her though, because Delta sometimes posts late at night, when tender Jimson is fast asleep. I thought you were implying I was DD. I'm not. I've never heard that song, either, I don't think.
12/20/2004 TheBuyer: Snow, try not to hear it. I grabbed two different versions when 'she' first appeared and now I can't get the motherfucker out of my head. It sticks worse than Feliz Navidad.
12/20/2004 Jimson S. Sorghum: I know "Delta Dawn," but I'm no Delta Dawn.
12/20/2004 Jon Matza: Senator: I served with Delta Dawn. I knew Delta Dawn. Delta Dawn was a friend of mine. Senator, you're no Delta Dawn.