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Their fluorescent ski jackets piled upon the free chair at the cafeteria table, Dick Vomit, Litcube, The Rid, and TheBuyer, were passionately debating the outcome of a fantasy match between Luc Picard and The Rid’s 7th level gnome mage over a clutter of miniatures and game books.
From across the barren hall, the nerds looked up from their dispute to the creaking of metal doors. Clad in expensive sports jackets and black jeans, in walked Matza, Qualcomm, Disney, Scoop, Mr. Pony, Snow – they were all there.
The stomachs of the geeks fluttered, as it became apparent that the cool kids were heading directly toward their table. They halted conversation and feigned interest in their papers, keeping their eyes glued to the table, unsure of themselves. Dick Vomit was abruptly uncertain of what to do with his hands.
As the crew passed the bench of huge nerds, Matza looked over and nodded. “Hey, dudes,” he said, with the supernatural coolness and awe-inspiring charisma of an ageless god.
The huge nerds, in their collective rapture, peed their pants.
Date Written: December 09, 2004Comments:
Average Vote: 3.6
12/21/2004 hagit mizrachy (2): I guess I don't know how cute this is on accounta my bein new. But, how about in the next episode, the gargantuan nerds look from the barren metal of creaking doors?
12/21/2004 The Rid: First, why does no one click the inside joke button anymore? Second, since when do cool kids wear black jeans? Is it 1992?
12/21/2004 Will Disney: wait - who wrote this? ewan snow?
12/21/2004 Ewan Snow: NO!
12/21/2004 Will Disney: Dude, admit it !
12/21/2004 Ewan Snow: You're just jealous cuz you weren't listed as one of the cool kids, nerdlinger!
12/21/2004 Dick Vomit (2): Alright. Guilty as charged. I wrote this.
12/21/2004 Will Disney: umm, dude, read again!
12/21/2004 Ewan Snow: Oh, yeah... So why are you jealous, then?
12/21/2004 scoop: Get over it Disney. Your not in there. I've read the thing, like, a hunded times. But at least you can find some solace in the fact that your nerdiness providing a chiaroscuro effect, allowing for a deeper, richer appreciation of our coolness.
12/21/2004 Will Disney: you're right, you're right...
12/21/2004 TheBuyer: I can't be nerdy, I did karate.
12/21/2004 Jon Matza: I would have liked more detailed description of my abs, glutes and triceps. Quite compelling nonetheless...
12/21/2004 Ewan Snow: Yeah, I would have liked more descriptions of Matza's glutes as well.
12/21/2004 Jon Matza: But seriously, I, Matza, enjoyed this tartly sarcastic follow-up to our squabble (if I'm reading correctly)...
12/21/2004 Dylan Danko: I think i remember that day. The reason why Benny and I weren't there leading the pack as usual is because we were scoring some coke for Egg Jenny's kegga.
12/21/2004 anonymous: Good eye, Matza. Also, your chiseled grid-work of abs would have been visible under your high-cut football jersey; not to mention the striations of your three-layer corded triceps. With every graceful stride through the cafeteria, your rubber taught glutes should have pulsed in rhythm under your white spandex pads.
12/21/2004 TheBuyer (5): hey author, eff yoo.
12/21/2004 Dick Vomit: Matza, if you mean our squabble, yours and mine, then I must admit I did not (guest) author this short.
12/21/2004 TheBuyer: Litcube, so who would win anyhow, Picard or the dwarf?
12/21/2004 Litcube: That depends. What level is Luc Picard?
12/21/2004 TheBuyer: Slightly post-beardless-Riker, pre-Locutusish. You know, prime-time.
12/21/2004 Litcube: If The Rid's gnome wasn't of 7th level, and avoided the stereotypical illusionist school of magic, then perhaps Picard would totally, like, kick his ass.
12/21/2004 The Rid (5): Well, I can take a joke.
12/21/2004 Jon Matza: Then when do I get my apology??
12/22/2004 Dick Vomit: I low-balled this. WTF
12/22/2004 Litcube: That is OK Dick Vomit!
02/10/2005 John Slocum (4): what about slocum?