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I've got one hundred and sixty-three V-cards on my belt. One hundred and sixty-three maidens deflowered, cherries popped, vaginas given their first coat of primer. There are some serious benefits to being curator of the Sultan's harem.
What's that? You have to be a eunuch to get the job? Oh no, my friend. You see, I have a remarkable ability to retract my balls into my abdominal cavity. For good measure I took a 6 month subscription to "O: The Oprah Magazine". Everyone was convinced.
Now I bang honeys left and right on the taxpayer dime, and you have to clean up the sexual sludge and wipe the writhing pubes off the floor! HA!
Date Written: December 11, 2004
Average Vote: 3