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My dog Henry had died, and I really loved this dog. Anyway, one of the reasons that I thought it might have died was that maybe it had swallowed something it shouldn't have. Specifically, I couldn't locate my wedding band.

Henry was a beagle. I couldn't bring myself to cut him open so I decided to go in through the mouth. I had to force his mouth open rigor mortis had set it and his jaw was pretty much locked shut. God it broke my heart as I heard those bones cracking, but I got his mouth open.

I was planning on using some gloves because I thought it'd be kinda gross in there but I was worried I wouldn't be able to feel enough with the sloves, so I started sticking my hand down Henry's throat. One thing that was a little surprising was how flexible Henry's esophagus and trachea turned out to be. Anyway, no rings around there.

I knew that my wedding band wouldn't be in the lung or the heart, so I kinda pushed those out of the way and worked my hand into what I figured was Henry's stomach. I was about up to my elbow now, and Henry's poor, distended little mouth was kinda nipping at me. But I knew he didn't mean it. I didn't have much luck in Henry's stomach either. But you know what I found in there that was pretty sad? Some crumbled up pieces of the last bone I had given Henry, the morning of the day he died. But again I found no ring in there.

My last hope was the colon, intestinal track, and rectum. An intestinal blockage by my ring certainly could have killed poor Henry. Anyway, I was kinda grossed out by the idea of putting my hand up Henry's butt so I decided to just continue and worked my hand past the spleen down to the end of the digestive track. It was pretty gross in there! At one point I thought I had found the ring but instead it was just some hardened excrement blocking Henry's large intestine. So that's what had killed him! But no ring.

One last push and my fingers came out the other end. I could feel the air on them and brought my arm around and saw my fingers poking out. It was kinda hard because Henry was almost up to my shoulder by then and I couldn't bend my arm real good. Anyway, no ring.

So anyway that's the story of how I stuck my arm through my dead dog Henry.

Date Written: December 20, 2004
Author: Will Disney
Average Vote: 3.625

Comments:
12/28/2004 TheBuyer (5): idiot, use a garden hose.
12/28/2004 scoop: Hey author does the dog have three snake heads atop giraffe necks, and the narrator have wings and magic powers, and the world they occupy exist only in two dimensions, cause I only vote on creative shorts now.
12/28/2004 Dylan Danko: Snap.
12/28/2004 The Rid (5): I figured it out: It's the nasty shorts I like.
12/28/2004 Will Disney: This one is kinda gross.
12/28/2004 John Slocum (3):
12/28/2004 Phony Millions (3):
12/28/2004 Streifenbeuteldachs (3): Decent, but the shock value wasn't there. Plus, its intestines have to be like 12 feet long!?!?
12/28/2004 hagit mizrachy (2): This is so Alice Cooper cover band. But gee if I give it a two, will everyone yell at me again?
12/28/2004 scoop: No. I'll only yell if you say somehting gay like its because of its deficit of creativity or lack of insight, you f-ing gaybob.
12/28/2004 The Rid: scoop 1, hagit 0.
12/29/2004 TheBuyer: Disney, is this the longest short you have ever written?
12/29/2004 Litcube (4):
12/30/2004 hagit mizrachy: Having learned a lesson in the Scoop short, I retract my attempt at provocation below and owe Disney two stars.
12/30/2004 qualcomm: shut up, you
12/30/2004 qualcomm: you said you wanted some mean-spiritedness, and scoop gave it to you. what are you whining about?
03/7/2005 deliciousbrains (4): Three and a half rounded up. The thought of a man with a dog kabob on his arm has me tickled.