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“I had the dream again,” Farnsworth Fillsworth said slugging his wife in the gut.
“You know the one with the dentist,” he continued smashing a folding chair over the small head of his Mexican gardener out by the driveway.
“I’m sitting in the chair, right, and this light, you know the one, like an antique, its glaring down like a spotlight, like something from the movies,” he explained to his secretary outside his office, delivering a series of devastating atomic leg drops.
“And the dentists head, you see, his head sort of magically appears over mine bobbing like a balloon, it is a dream after all, and he’s got this real beatific smile on his face and I’m like, ‘so what’s the verdict doc,’” he described to that morning’s first client, his black wingtip loafer grinding his face to wet smudge on the unlikely marbled floor.
“And he takes a pair of pliers and tries to break them from my mouth, pry it right form the root, but they don’t budge, the tough little bastards. The dentist, a Jewish fella, he just stares down and says, ‘you have the most magnificent teeth. They are beautiful. Immaculate. The best set of male adult teeth I’ve ever seen,” he recounted to the night janitor in the hallway while bludgeoning him with a steel trashcan.
“And I’m like ‘Boo-Yah,” he shouted to his reflection in the bathroom, as he placed a revolver to his head and squeezed the trigger spreading his beautiful head in a shower of tooth-sized skull and macaronied brain chunks .
Interpretation: Teeth falling out in our dreams are frequent and common in many people. It is often a symbol of a concern for one’s self-image, since smiles are often the first feature people see when they meet us. It sometimes has to do with a transition from one life stage to another, harkening perhaps to the loss of our baby teeth as we paddle forward in the life stream, garnering new raw experiential data for processing in our CPU. It also, in the cases of some males, indicates a fear of castration, in lieu of the fact that men do not like having their penises chopped off. It is hard to determine what the inverse of the teeth dream could mean without proper context, however.
Date Written: January 03, 2005Comments:
Author: scoop's brain
Average Vote: 3.8889
01/12/2005 The Rid: I was told that dreams about teeth generally mean you grind your teeth in your sleep.
01/12/2005 Mr. Joshua: If this is not the return of Craig Lewis, I will never again attempt to divine authorship.
01/12/2005 Dylan Danko (5): Ahem, just covering my bases with this one in case J-Diggity is right.
01/12/2005 qualcomm: based on the numerous comma errors, one apostrophe error and the misuse of the phrase "in lieu of" (by which i believe the author meant "in light of"), i think this was written by TREE. good work, danko.
01/12/2005 Mr. Joshua (5): This is TREE?! 5 Stars!
01/12/2005 Streifenbeuteldachs (4): "Boo-Yah"
01/12/2005 Jon Matza (4): As I've heard it's not castration so much as loss of potency that lost teeth symbolize for men. tRie or not, I enjoyed this. 99% certain t'isn't Lewis...
01/12/2005 Mr. Joshua: Z-Dog, if I picked the ponies the way I pick authors, I'd be in a lot of trouble!!!!
01/12/2005 The Rid: Interesting. Can't decide on four or five.
01/12/2005 TREE: Keep guessing.
01/12/2005 Mr. Joshua: TREE: The Rid is just waiting to see how Snow votes.
01/12/2005 Jon Matza: plies stop y'uore, confousing me mr, jolshula I d'ol;'nt gnow abot wyen and rasing?
01/12/2005 Mr. Pony (4):
01/12/2005 TREE: I think Rid is waiting for a clear majority to decide his vote. Maybe he could just take the average vote listed and make it his own?
01/12/2005 anonymous: The Rid = The Aggregate.
01/12/2005 anonymous: So if The we add in The Rid's vote of 4.4 we get a new average of 4.4 wich goes to show how important The Rid's vote is
01/12/2005 The Rid (4): (No comment on TREE's comment.)
01/12/2005 TREE: Apparently you chose to vote with the majority... and no comments to add. What's wrong nermal? Do you truly lack an opinion of your own?
01/12/2005 TheBuyer: better that than a long, boring exhange on yet another short you didn't write, hick.
01/12/2005 Mr. Joshua: I suppose now that the Buyer's a full author, TREE, he doesn't intend to mix with our sort.
01/12/2005 TREE: I assume the same Mr. J. Can you help us TheBuyer? We obviously need some serious AUTHOR help to make these exchanges interesting.
01/12/2005 qualcomm: if you turned on mr. j. like a mad dog, tree, that would be interesting.
01/12/2005 Mr. Pony: (Nermal?)
01/12/2005 TREE: like a mad dog? Exactly how does a mad dog act? Are we talking an angry dog or an insane dog? what breed would make it interesting poodle, schnauzer or maybe mastiff? What if I turned on him like an angry goldfish? Would that spice it up enough? or maybe dolphin would be better? Then I could spit at him. I don't think goldfish can spit...or can they?
01/12/2005 The Rid: Buyer, I like your style (re: "Hick" comment).
01/12/2005 Mr. Joshua: Check it out, TREE. The Buyer has been a full author for less than 4 hours, and already The Rid is finding ways to kiss ass.
01/12/2005 TheBuyer: mad /insane, angry dog
01/12/2005 cuntry (3): The first line is killer. The beginning and middle pretty great. The interpretation sucks. And I would refer to author to Cirlot's dictionary of symbols. Out of print, but found often at Strand. A damn handy reference.
01/12/2005 TREE: I was going to comment on that myself. It's truly amazing how many places the Rid wants his tongue to go.
01/12/2005 Mr. Joshua: Yeah...if the Rid had grown up in my family, he would have had his copy-assing ways slapped right out of him. At a very early age, I might add.
01/12/2005 Dick Vomit (3): Beep.
01/12/2005 Litcube (3): I wonder if this could have been a better short without the dream appendix.