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Alanis Morrisette and Neve Campbell were in the barn, eating oats. I wanted to ride one of them, but being nearly six-feet tall, I thought it would make for some pretty ineffective traveling had I chosen to saddle up one of these feisty mares. As I caught the eye of Alanis, I thought she muttered something about Montreal, but I couldn't quite understand through all the braying. Also, Neve squinted at me, but I couldn't discern a smile (or a frown), as her equine maw was concealed by a hefty muzzle. I gave a pull on the reins, just for laughs.

Date Written: January 03, 2005
Author: Turgid
Average Vote: 3.3333

01/4/2005 qualcomm: this sucks
01/13/2005 TREE: It's kinda wierd that we would agree on anything qc but...
01/13/2005 qualcomm: first line is terrific, but i'm confused. are they the actual chicks, or horses named thereafter?
01/13/2005 anonymous: The actual broads.
01/13/2005 qualcomm: you think neve is horsey, author? i love that squinty-eyed cum dumpster!
01/13/2005 qualcomm: hmm, now that i've reviewed a few pictures of her, i can see what you mean. certain lengthiness to the face. i still wish to pork her squint-eyes though.
01/13/2005 Dylan Danko: She's thoroughly unsexy next to J.Love Hewitt.
01/13/2005 anonymous: Votes, readers?
01/13/2005 cuntry: i submit diane lane and naomi watts, and then johannson in the under 20 category.
01/13/2005 anonymous: All those ladies are pretty *hot*, though.
01/13/2005 Mr. Pony: Author, what should we be voting on? I mean, I agree that at least one of these women looks a little like a horse. I'm just not sure how to proceed from there.
01/13/2005 TheBuyer: They're both from Ontario, if that helps.
01/13/2005 The Rid: Three.
01/13/2005 Jon Matza: The haunches of the Latvian female tend to be wider and more sprightly than that of her Rumanian counterpart. Additional, a Hmong female is an apt partner at any hour of the day whereas a Vietnametress rarely fornicates between midday and dusk.
01/13/2005 qualcomm: wide and sprightly? wow.
01/13/2005 TheBuyer (4): ya.
01/13/2005 Dick Vomit: yeh?
01/13/2005 Jon Matza: ly
01/13/2005 Dick Vomit: yay? yea? yah? yeah?
01/13/2005 anonymous: *****
01/13/2005 The Rid (3): Yeah, three.
01/13/2005 Streifenbeuteldachs (3): The first line promised the world, but the rest didn't live up. The rest wasn't bad, it just didn't deliver the world. More like Myanmar, Brazil and the Comoros.
01/13/2005 scoop: Burma, dude, Burma.