home authors guest shorts graphical shorts
Phil stood in front of the bathroom mirror, combing his hair straight back with a gel-slicked plastic comb. Up until 10 minutes ago, he'd always combed to the side. Every couple years he'd switch from left to right, but it had never even occurred to him that he could skip the part all together. That's right you sexy bitch.
No, he wasn't talking to his reflection, he was picturing his girlfriend Carla with her ass in the air. Carla was hot, and more importantly, Jewish. She was not, however, smart. This bothered Phil. He'd always pictured himself cumming all over a hot, smart, jewish girl. Carla read young adult novels,
said they "relaxed" her. He'd tried to interest her in something deeper, like the Celestine Prophesy, but she said it gave her bad dreams.
A thin line of blood trickled down his forehead, but he couldn't stop just yet. He'd hardly figured anything out.
Date Written: January 16, 2005Comments:
Average Vote: 3.3333
02/2/2005 The Rid: Not at all interesting.
02/2/2005 Litcube: That's a lot of combing.
02/2/2005 Mr. Pony: I don't agree with the Rid's assessment, but this is pretty understated.
02/2/2005 The Rid: Pony, perhaps "interesting" wasn't the right word. I think that this short is woefully underwritten, but I'm slightly intrigued by the idea behind it. Graf 2 has promise, but goes nowhere. I think that grafs 1 & 3 are superfluous. So what does that all add up to? Dunno.
02/2/2005 Streifenbeuteldachs (3): I don't get the blood part. Is his combing an obsessive-compulsive response to stress about his girlfriend? Second para was pretty good.
02/2/2005 Litcube: The Rid: 17.
02/2/2005 The Rid: Litcube, I can always count on you. Ha!
02/2/2005 The Rid (3): I have to go with three. Graf 2 is good enough that it, if it stood alone, would warant a four. But sadly, grafs 1 & 3 exist, so I have to mark down.
02/2/2005 Litcube (3): Ploop.
02/2/2005 TheBuyer (4):
02/2/2005 Jawbreaker (3):
02/3/2005 John Slocum (4): something deeper, like the Celestine Prophesy