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Miss Me?

“Admit it,” she said as we left the final court hearing. “You’ll miss me.”

“Well,” I said, “do you remember that time five years ago when I cut my foot on that broken bottle? The doctor closed the cut with staples instead of stitches. It took fifteen staples. They stayed in my foot for a month. I kept snagging my socks on them and they’d seep a little blood. They itched all the time, but I couldn’t scratch them because I was afraid I’d open the cut. A couple of them got kind of rusty looking and I thought I might be getting blood poisoning. It hurt like hell when the doctor finally took them out with those weird little pliers. And he almost broke one off because it had actually started to grow into the bone. Then they ouzed puss for a couple of days, and I had to go back to make sure they weren’t infected. Do you remember all that?”

“Yeah,” she said.

“I’ll miss you like I missed those staples when they came out.”

She thought for a second, then broke into a smile.

“I knew it. I knew you’d miss me.”


Date Written: January 27, 2005
Author: middlenowhere
Average Vote: 3.7

02/16/2005 Streifenbeuteldachs: That middle paragraph ruled!
02/16/2005 The Rid: Hmm.
02/16/2005 Will Disney: this isn't your standard traditional short but it has the *basis* of a good gag in there. welcome to acmeshorts!
02/16/2005 John Slocum (4): Hey, Great Word Count, Author! A quick easy read. Graf 3, funny, tails off a bit at the end, but GREAT WORD COUNT.
02/16/2005 TheBuyer (4): 200 useful words.
02/16/2005 Phony Millions (4): Bittersweet pus story!
02/16/2005 Streifenbeuteldachs (3):
02/16/2005 Litcube (4): Hooray for 206 words! I could see this one coming, though author, and I'm not so sure how I feel about the last two sentences. Solid lean first short.

02/16/2005 TheBuyer: Litcube, check out the striation in the second graph, bra. Like ripples on a sand dune, bra. Fierce.
02/16/2005 John Slocum: oozed?
02/16/2005 Litcube: True, that graph gets 1.5 amino's / lbs.
02/16/2005 The Rid (3): This sounds like an alternate version of the one-in-a-million joke from "Dumb and Dumber."
02/16/2005 Jimson S. Sorghum (3):
02/16/2005 John Slocum: I laughed out loud explosively at that one-in-a-million joke. And the snowball gag.
02/16/2005 Jon Matza (4): Not 1/2 bad, new author.
02/16/2005 Jawbreaker (4):
02/18/2005 Front (4): enjoyed.