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There are a lot of cool extreme sports out there. The newest and deadliest is called "Joining FARC." You have to fly down to Colombia, sign up for FARC, and survive at least a year before you win. Oh, and you can't be Colombian, either. You have to be some whitebread American suburbanite, preferably from Southern California.
It'll be tough. You'll probably be expected to execute a couple pro-government farmers, rape their daughters, and then take down a military helicopter on top of a kindergarten. And that's like the first day's work! For real!
Later on, it gets seriously difficult. You might be asked to veil your face with a scarf and defend the ardent protesters of human rights abuses, the neoliberal economic model, and the forcible redistribution of stolen assets to the disposessed! All while staving off various jungle diseases including crotch rot (the cure for which is sunshine, by the way)!
Anyway, we're not sure what the prize is yet, because nobody has ever won.
Date Written: January 29, 2005Comments:
Average Vote: 2.6667
02/17/2005 Streifenbeuteldachs (2): failed to enkindle delight within my fevered brow
02/17/2005 Will Disney: I like where this one is going. Some of that first day stuff sounds okay, I guess...
02/17/2005 The Rid: Lemme Google FARC and get back to you.
02/17/2005 Mr. Pony: Sounds like somebody has an axe to grind!
02/17/2005 Dick Vomit: My ex-girlfriend LIVED IN COLOMBIA and I often feared FARC would Americannap her! NOT FUNNY!!!
02/17/2005 Dick Vomit: LAUB
02/17/2005 Will Disney: Is it funny now that she's your ex-girlfriend?
02/17/2005 Dick Vomit: Yeah.
02/17/2005 anonymous: An axe? There's no axe! What axe!?
02/17/2005 Mr. Pony: Sorry, figure of speech.
02/17/2005 TheBuyer: Do they an administrative position available; some kind of x-treme Accounts Payable/Ledger Entries seconday prize maybe?
02/17/2005 TheBuyer (3): middle ground.
02/17/2005 The Rid (2): The webste didn't help; it was all in goddamn Spanish!
02/17/2005 Litcube: This didn't nothing for me.
02/18/2005 Litcube: Not expecting Big Shirtless Steve for this one.
02/18/2005 Streifenbeuteldachs: There's a funny story behind this. I wrote it 20 minutes before it was due to be published. The short I had in that spot was good, and I wanted to burnish it a bit more.
02/18/2005 John Slocum (3): well played strfnbtldchs, for writing in 20 minutes that is. If your not telling the truth about that, you're a dirty lier (lyer, liar?). Liar.