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Defau Winston III stared at his reflection in the lens of the government video camera installed in My living pod and wondered how he was going to expend his ideologically valid emotions for the rest of the evening. It was Saturday night after all and Re-Population festivities were mandated between 2100 and 0400, Defau Standard Time (DST).
Defau Wandas with sanctioned uteruses were encouraged to enjoy My feelings with one another on scheduled evenings. Or as Defau Winston III liked to say: “Give it up!”
“Aw, man,” Defau Winston III barked, slapping hands with his podmate Defau Winston 257. “We’re going to party tonight.”
“With great conviction,” Defau Winston 257 responded accordingly.
Lost in the severe geometric shadows of the 300-story Podrise, outside in the courtyard the un-My screams of Defau Winston 102874 mournfully resounded as Re-education Facilitators dragged him to an awaiting clean-fuel Ministry Hovercar. They had 102874’s journals sealed in evidence cases. They would be sent to Compliance for Vetting. Incidentally that’s where Defau Winston III worked.
“I told 102874 that his journals were gay,” III shouted to his podmate while he applied multi-use gel to My hair made from the bone-reduction of the heroic Volunteers. III wonder to himself what was going happen to 102874’s Pod. That thing has some awesome views.
“Would you hurry already,” Defau Winston 257 shouted to Defau Winston III. He was horny and wanted to make sure he didn’t squander his emotions this evening like he did last weekend. Winston shot one last glance into the lens to make sure his hair was sufficiently ideological. “Alright, let’s get Grogged!”
At Grog Bar 2112 many of My Wanda’s had already arrived, their uteruses were alluringly outlined in fluorescent electric reds and greens in the slate gray utilitarian tight fitting pleasure smocks.
“Dude!” Defau Winston III whispered to his podmate jabbing him in the ribs with his elbow. “Check out that Wanda!” He pointed to Defau Wanda 69. They high-fived and saddled up to the Grog Injection Units.
Defau Winston III slipped into the unit and smiled. A mechanical arm with a syringe fixed to the end of it zipped out. The syringe flooded with Grog, it gurgled a bit. “So Wandas,” the arm whipped down and slammed the syringe into III’s head, “you ladies come here often?”
The following conversation was accurately captured in the bank of digital recorders in the sterile white studios of the monolithic Ministry of Memory and Accuracy building CenTown in Defau Bloc 1. A Listener missed that particular memory as he jumped out of My chair protesting a bad call on the football game.
A camera fixed behind and above the monitor captured the transaction, as the light flickered in his face. Come Monday, the MMA bureaucrat’s actions would be reviewed and his feelings toward the game would be determined to be ideologically sound and thus valid.
Date Written: January 30, 2005Comments:
Average Vote: 4.3333
02/17/2005 TheBuyer: Author, I tried to read your short but it's very confusing.
02/17/2005 anonymous: Sorry it's over your head, rookie.
02/17/2005 TheBuyer: Thank you for your apology.
02/17/2005 Litcube (3): This one's difficult to get through. Some crazy stuff, author, some errors, but strangely enjoyable.
"Or as Defau Winston III liked to say.." Excuse me!? Whots this all abowt, then!?
02/17/2005 Litcube: Maybe I underrated this.
02/17/2005 Mr. Pony: Man, this Future sure sounds awful.
02/17/2005 anonymous: Buyer: Let me be as condescending as possible. My apology couldn't have been accepted because it was sarcasm, you retard. Litcube, I forgive your lowball vote because I think you've got a lot of heart, and that counts too.
02/17/2005 anonymous: Not as awful as your last short, Pony.
02/17/2005 Litcube: Scoop!?
02/17/2005 anonymous: This is superior to anyhting that's been featured on that overrated author's page in recent weeks.
02/17/2005 TheBuyer: I don't know who this is, but he's all pissed off, also his version of 'as condescending as possible' isn't very condescending, it's more whiney. I'm a little taken aback by his tone, but anyone who would keep the sentence 'The following conversation was accurately captured in the bank of digital recorders in the sterile white studios of the monolithic Ministry of Memory and Accuracy building CenTown in Defau Bloc 1.' and then not include a following conversation or meant precedeing instead can have some dummy slack from me because I'm wonderful.
02/17/2005 Mr. Pony: I also accept your apology, author. Also, shouldn't this short be marked as inside, seeing as how it is completely based on that totally deformed wrestler you made in WWE Smackdown: Here Comes The Pain? (except for the part about a government exerting control over the thoughts of its citizens, which I'm guessing you made up)
02/17/2005 From Author: Fuck you, Pony. Ass hole.
02/17/2005 From Author: I'm quitting this stupid fucking site. F all of u.
02/17/2005 anonymous: I agree with whoMever that guy is.
02/17/2005 Mr. Pony: Fuck you, too, buddy. I will train my child to kill you!
02/17/2005 The Lerpa: LERPA!
02/17/2005 Mr. Pony: I, however must disagree with my impersonator. Murder is wrong.
02/17/2005 Litcube: I want to know what others think about this short. This is what I want to know.
02/17/2005 Jon Matza: Graf 7 was pincer.
02/17/2005 TheBuyer: Hey, holy shit, it is scoop! I guess I'm not wonderful after all.
02/17/2005 Jon Matza: Food for thought: would the Buyer's attempt to affect a pedantic tone have seemed any less pitiful if he hadn't misspelled 'preceding'?
02/17/2005 TheBuyer: I doubt it.
02/17/2005 qualcomm: what's with all the "My's"? this is awfully confusing.
02/17/2005 Mr. Pony: Could someone explain the "My" thing to me? I don't think I understand that particular detail, but I have a feeling it's probably sort of important.
02/17/2005 Mr. Pony: oh
02/17/2005 Dick Vomit: 2112 was a Rush reference. I want a syringe slammed into the top of my head. Hi scoop.
02/17/2005 Mr. Pony: Then is Mars 2112 also a Rush reference?
02/17/2005 TheBuyer: I took the My thing as if Microsoft had finally taken over the world and added a My to everything like in Windows [ie. My Documents, My Music].
02/17/2005 qualcomm: i am experiencing error with the whole homogenized, brave new world future thing. this is a well-trod, very crappy path. annoys me in the same way aphid mezrick did.
02/17/2005 anonymous: ... the massive grey walls of the temples rise from the
Heart of every federation city. I have always been awed
By them, to think that every single facet of every life is
Regulated and directed from within! our books, our music,
Our work and play are all looked after by the benevolent
Wisdom of the priests (i.e. defaus)...
02/17/2005 Dick Vomit: Let me be very clear. Every single time the number 2112 appears, it is a reference to the AWESOMEST 70'S CONCEPT ALBUM EVER~!!!!
02/17/2005 Dick Vomit: Aphid Mezrik was way better. Who wrote that one?!
02/17/2005 anonymous: If you think this is like aphid mezrick then you are not getting the joke, qualcUmm.
02/17/2005 Dylan Danko: I want to know what's utilitarian about tight fitting pleasure smocks?
02/17/2005 anonymous: In fact I would say no one in the history of Western Civilization has ever trod this path, 'cumm.
02/17/2005 Shane Mahoney (5): A stark, frightening portrayal of an all-too-possible future in which the North American model of conservation has been abandoned, leaving our precious natural rezources to the tender mercies of the industrial agro conglomerates. If the destruction of the North Atlantic cod stocks was a cautionary fable from reality, this is its natural analog in the wilderness of the mind.
02/17/2005 anonymous: Danko: The answer is simple -- an efficient use of rezources. Loose fitting pleasure smocks would indicate a waste of material that could be better utilized for Defaus other needs. Also reproduction is necessary for the re-Defauing of the environment, to maintain a work force and viable mmilitary. Also note my spelling of rezources. I must be Shane Mahoney. Also because he gave it five stars. The evidence is overwhelming.
02/17/2005 qualcomm: yeah, they're both doing that thing where the future's all tightly controlled and sterile. obviously, your "visions" aren't exactly the same, aphid's point is more about consumerism run amok, but COME ON! why, what's the joke, other than future stuff?
02/17/2005 anonymous: The joke, 'cumm, you generic brand econo-sized tube of jizz, is that this dude digs living in his dystopia. He's not all like, "oh, oh, I have feelings, I have an identity, I'm a name not a number blubbering, oh what about my fucking journal. What of love? What of color?" No, he's all fucking happy. It's Defaus world, he's just living in it. It's not my fault my vision is coming in at 16:9 Hi-Def and I've got to be compared to some 500 dpi 4:3 Dick Vomit bull shit. In conclusion, F you. PS -- I'm Shane Mahoney! Isn't it obvious, you stupid cunts?
02/17/2005 The Finch: Long live the New Flesh.
02/17/2005 TheBuyer (3): You're not Shane Mahoney. Also, pants don't fit you decently because of your lopsided ass. THREE fuckstars, guesty.
02/17/2005 Jon Matza (5): +1 for the Pink Pearl comments.
02/17/2005 qualcomm: first of all, i don't think a dude enjoying the dystopia is all the orginal. also, all the incidental jokes along the way are standard-issue future gags. third, it was a pain in the ass to read. was that part of the joke, too? ass hole?
02/17/2005 Dick Vomit: My short was entertaining! This is all WHACK-O, JACK-O!
02/17/2005 Benny Maniacs (4): Liked the detail and invention. Possibly overdone to a small but convoluting extent.
02/17/2005 anonymous: I don't care if you liked the "detail and invention", Maniacs you teitching pedestrian twat muscle. Give me five stars or get the fuck out of here. If the "preceding" comments are too convoluting. It mean I don't care about you or what come out of that Kraut designed brain of yours.
02/17/2005 The Rid (4): A solid four. Good imagery, the "My"s weren't confusing, and I liked the non-dystopia dystopia. Yay!
02/17/2005 anonymous: Now that it has all been broken down and explained for you and everything, eh???????? EHHH???????? squit. squit. sssssss...squit.
02/17/2005 The Rid: I guess it wouldn't be Acme Shorts if someone didn't feel the need to be a pissy little cunt, re: my voting. Such is life.
02/18/2005 Mr. Pony (5): Author, I found your short aggressively confusing with ridiculous details, and your precious premise was quickly lost as you became enamored with your own ability to turn out cube-shaped futuristic dystopia gags like dumplings! Your comments from the start were the hysterical tantrums of a home-dwelling man-child, one month deprived of mother's milk after thirty-seven years of comforting suck! FIVE FUCKING STARS YOU FUCKING BITCH!!!!
02/18/2005 John Slocum (5): Very creative. What a mind, not to mention a jowl.
02/18/2005 Dick Vomit (5): ass hole
02/18/2005 John Slocum: 3.9 for this things a shame. It's rich and complex. Grapes were harvested at perfect sugar/acid balance, fermentation came off without a hitch, skillfully oaked. Drinks well now but will also age gracefully. 95!
02/18/2005 qualcomm: i disagree like fuck, slocum. i think this baby's deliberately obscure and confusing, a chore to read and filled with mainly done-before, no-fun future jokes.
02/18/2005 John Slocum: deliberatlely obscure and confusing - maybe, but Scoop often gives his shorts a density of detail that can be too much, but it works here. It was confusing the first time, but I still enjoyed it. 2 more times and found it less and less confusing each time. Also, don't think it was deliberate (sorry scoop for speaking on your behalf), just Scoop having some fun, sort of flexing his big muscles.
02/18/2005 John Slocum: I'll only be here for another few minutes, so don't take your time responding, QC.
02/22/2005 John Slocum: just another few minutes...