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Dani walked into the cafe with confident flip of her hair. After all, it was Tuesday, and she was wearing Prada. Heads would turn.

He waved a small wave, talking into his cell phone as she walked over. His eyes followed the subtle bounce of her breasts. Gross.

And then he didn't stand when she sat. That probably had more to do with his missing leg than anything else, but it felt intentional somehow - there was no sense that the urge to stand was even there.

Dani laid her napkin in her lap and sipped a Pellegrino, waiting patiently for the call to end. He pushed a menu at her, she gently shoved it back. He raised an eyebrow. She cocked her head. "Eat," he mouthed. "No," she mouthed back.

And then she got bored. It was early for dinner and there was no one to look at yet. Waiter. Busboy. Trashy bartender. Wally Shawn... WALLY SHAWN! Hey. All right. That was something.

But then Wally left. And he was still on the phone.

Her hand slipped off the table and into her lap. She let her fingers play against her thigh, drumming lightly. He smiled at her, making an apologetic nod about the phone. She smiled back and waved it off with one hand, reaching under her skirt with the other.

Dani kept the smile plastered to her face, managing a reassuring nod now and then as she made progress below the table. She focused on his nose so that the whole face started to become a bunch of blobs, a sort of fleshy landscape with mountains, and valleys, and gaping craters... The craters did it.

Date Written: February 09, 2005
Author: cuntry
Average Vote: 3

Comments:
02/24/2005 Will Disney: this is one horny short. i didn't find it so "funny" per se but it perked up *my* afternoon, anyway.
02/24/2005 Litcube: So, because this dude's talking on the phone thereby ignoring his girlfriend, she passes time by waxin' the dolphin? Anything else I'm missing here?
02/24/2005 The Rid: "The craters did it" is a funny line. But the rest...mluh.
02/24/2005 anonymous: what does it take for you all to vote?
02/24/2005 qualcomm (3): solid?
02/24/2005 TheBuyer (3): I Can Relate. Ask me how. Please. I'll give you an hint - tits.
02/24/2005 anonymous: ok buyer... tits? what on earth are you speaking of? do tell.
02/24/2005 TheBuyer: I'm sorry, I'm completely full of shit, I can't relate, I don't even have tits.
02/24/2005 Jon Matza: Does "the craters did it" mean she's a lezz? If not, what was it about the craters that got her off?
02/25/2005 The Rid (3):
02/25/2005 John Slocum (3):
02/25/2005 Jon Matza: Author, I refuse to dignify your ignoring my question by asking why you didn't respond.