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Strictly Legit ReProductions Disclaimer:
Yo Acmaniacs. Whut Thyme zit Dawgberries?! Bootay Time! Numero Uno. Though I may appear to some to be of a certain Race, I speak and act anyway I want whenever I want because I see the World through what I like to call my Frens Lens. (Race is a Bullshit Concept if you view Things from a DNA-Based Vantage.) Letís us call it a Full Spectrum Rainbow Coalition=Manumition=Do not assume the Position=This a War of Attrition. Yep thatís Numero Dos. Freethinking and Freedomthinking means I may at times be Rapping or Poeticizing or ConscienceFlowing. And due to my generally somewhat Crazy or, rather, Non-Trad. Influences, Responsibilities, and Experiences, [Such as: Lived in Brazilia, the Old East Germany, Florida etc.; Multi-Genre Dancer, Kite Surfer, (Sexual)Swinger, Published Poet, etc.; Ownership of two different Franchises and Membership on a Corporate Board and a Charitable Board etc.] I have been truly Blessed with the Chance to evolve an Out-of-the-Box Personality and Attitude of Internationalism. If yaíll think this is Written to Impressó-Sorry Wrong Number. Cause I donít mean to be Rude, Iím just laying the Mude for my ĎTude. Iím also a Theist, which some would say doesnít fit my Iconoclastic Vibration, but it De Facto does. Universal Props to Jesus.
End of Strictly Legit ReProductions Disclaimer.

Give us a Short, give us a Short!!!!!!! Easy Class, they didnít rush Fonzie or the San Fran Cable Cars and everyone got what and where they wanted. Nuf said? (Just a Joke Yíall) Back to it. My Pieces are closely based on my Life Experiences. Aw Shit, Iíll hit the To-Be-Or-Not-To-Be Fans with a Snippet of a Piece I Warehoused a coupla Years BC. Itís like a Dialogue where Iím doing all the Talking while the Bikinied Bimbo is never actually heard, but sheís there allright--in the Shadow of my Thang Thang. We like to call this little Slipper of Prose "Poolside".

Strictly Legit Repro #17:

Excuse me?! No, it's not a Kilbasi in my Trunks.
Itís more like a Salami. Girth, my Dear=Worth.

Sure Itís got a Name. Hey hey hey, Itís Fat Albert!!

What do you mean by that? I wear Racing Trunks acause I used to be on Swim Team.

Yes I will continue to Parade my big Firehose around like an overexcited Dalmation. Donít forget, we were Members here long before they even considered
accepting your Adams Family.

What do you mean what do I mean by that?

Maybe I WAS referring to your Sister then. Letís face it, Nobody wants to see a Girl with Burn Scars Poolside. Clear nuf?
Pretty Funny Shit I think. That Horny Honey was put in her Proper Place. But that's just me.
Iím Out.

Vive La Peace,


"Give the People What they want or make 'em want What you're givin'" -My Dad

Date Written: February 17, 2005
Average Vote: 2.8

03/2/2005 Streifenbeuteldachs: The F?
03/2/2005 Will Disney: Welcome to AcmeShorts!
03/2/2005 qualcomm (2): one star extra for the possibility that this persona may be a put on.
03/2/2005 TheBuyer: I...I'm scared of this. We don't have rap in canada - unless you count that Faith No More Song. I like that song.
03/2/2005 The Rid: There's no rule that says we have to be nice to first time authors, right?
03/2/2005 anonymous: Thanks for the Welcome Walt's Grandson. On Some Sites People are Mad Rude to the Comer New. The Buyer, Dude(Dudette?) are you seriously Intimidated by This? If you're like in High School, I want you to know I'm totally Non-Judgemental. And why do you put Canada in Lower Case? BTW Qualcomm, that's a TM Name and you could get Sued. It happened to this Gay Guy who was using Jarry Falwell's Name on his WebAddress.
03/2/2005 Ewan Snow: qc, I assumed it was a put on. The question is is it funny. With the exception of a couple of details here and there, I didn't think it was.
03/2/2005 scoop: Very Terrenceish.
03/2/2005 TheBuyer: Snow, he seems kind of sincere, maybe I'm just misinterpreting 'unfunny' but I don't think so.
03/2/2005 Litcube (3): Mildly, I chuckled at various intervals. Also, I polished my shoes this morning. They are now clean and black.
03/2/2005 TheBuyer: Author, I'm a Little Intimidated, all The Caps make me Feel like I'm Reading a Very Long Title for Something. Truth is I didn't GET halFwaY through the First bit before I Quit ReAding For that Very reasOn.
03/2/2005 BOOTIEANDTHEHOFISH (4): Fuck that, I give Myself Four Stars. I'm Out.
03/2/2005 John Slocum: 'Girth, my Dear=Worth.' That's funny.
03/2/2005 Litcube: The caps helped me visualize the way in which the narrator was speaking. My mind's eye saw Ali G. Granted, my mind's eye is also seven years old.
03/2/2005 qualcomm: slocum: you're doing it again.
03/2/2005 John Slocum: 'Girth, my Dear=Worth.' is like a nice sweet raspberry flavor in my dear, dear Brindisi rosso riserva. Reading this short isn't as good as drinking that wine.
03/2/2005 Jon Matza (4): Almost didn't bother reading 'cause of the sloppy/hyper format & Giganto-Graf, but what do you know--I enjoyed this goofy stream of consciousness dissertation. +0.67 1st timer bonus.
03/2/2005 The Rid (2):
03/3/2005 John Slocum (3):