home authors guest shorts graphical shorts
Jennifer Lopez's ass was flying over the suburban town. Stuck into her ass was a vibrator which had been modded into a little rocket and which was powering her along.
Outside the school house in the little town, a bully was pushing a kid named Johnny up against the wall.
"Give me your lunch money," the bully was saying.
Down swooped Jennifer Lopez's ass from the sky. It positioned itself over the bully and released a hot stream of diarrhea.
The bully clutched at his eyes, incapacitated. Johnny gave him a kick in the shins and ran off. And, after a quick dildo adjustment accomplished by flying up to a wall and pressing in gently, Jennifer Lopez's ass flew off into the sunset.
Date Written: February 20, 2005Comments:
Author: Will Disney
Average Vote: 3.9091
02/25/2005 qualcomm: whoah, something weird is happening. good thing disney is in ireland. remember how i one-starred ewan's short? i'm going to one-star all of disney's shorts for this insult.
02/25/2005 TheBuyer: Gentleman's pause, this ain't right.
02/25/2005 Ewan Snow: Well, this one wasn't supposed to published until tomorrow. It wouldn't be right to vote on it now. And the one below isn't supposed to be published for an hour or so. What is a fellow to do?
02/25/2005 qualcomm: funny kind of coincidence, this short's lone sentence.
02/25/2005 qualcomm: ie, disney will pay.
02/25/2005 Litcube: Seriously: What is a fellow to do?
02/25/2005 qualcomm: what do you mean? do nothing, of course.
02/25/2005 TheBuyer: You know, a second site administrator would be a pretty good idea for times like these. Anyone know a guy willing to step up?
02/25/2005 qualcomm: me!
02/25/2005 Dylan Danko: Nobody gave me a gentleman's pause for "Man do I lead a glossy life" OR for that other unfinished short I had that never even showed up in the queue. Assholes!
02/25/2005 qualcomm: yeah, but this one's the site's fault. both of yours were due to your own carelessness. fu, and i'm serious this time.
02/25/2005 Jon Matza: What happened here? How do you know it's the site's fault?
02/25/2005 Dylan Danko: The glossy life one was but the other one wasn't. And are you sure this one is due to site error?
02/25/2005 qualcomm: both of yous: what else would it be? they were published around 1:15, and disney's in ireland. are you suggesting malfeasance?
02/25/2005 Dylan Danko: Both? What? I don't understand.
02/25/2005 Mr. Joshua: Oh boy, D-Dog...he's about to come down on you like a shitstorm. Better run for cover by lining up behind the new Initiative
02/25/2005 qualcomm: danko: i don't understand what you don't understand.
02/25/2005 Dylan Danko: I know. But i really didn't understand. Was not being coy.
02/25/2005 Dylan Danko: Sorry that was for J-Dog. QC, it really doesn't matter. I take the blame for the glossy short but not for the dream one which disappeared from the site before I could finish it.
02/25/2005 Mr. Joshua: So can I count on your support for the Initiative?
02/25/2005 Dylan Danko: Ah, I think i assumed 'yous' was a typo for 'yours'
02/25/2005 Mr. Joshua: Can you believe his astonishing ignorance, QC?!! I can't figure out which is more galling, his temerity or his stupidity.
02/25/2005 Dylan Danko: My stupidity, by far. Mr. J, I think your innitiative should be tabled till we can hash out some of the specifics over a fecal Cotes D'Auvergne.
02/25/2005 Benny Maniacs (2): I like the beginning of this story. The middle and final sections are unclear, too ambiguous and unresloved feeling. Just the same, there's nothing bad in it, and it is quite concise.
02/26/2005 Phony Millions: Someone sent me this Handel's Messiah with the organist on crack as a 'funny link' 2 months ago. It's not even new!
02/26/2005 Jon Matza: Enjoying your vacation, Disney?
02/27/2005 Daphne: Am I missing something?
02/27/2005 Will Disney: hello everyone - i'm back. i dont' know what the F happened that this got published. i'll have to figure that out this evening. i replaced my one sentence placeholder with a short i had written and i'm adding another one in the queue. my apologies for the terrible lack of luster. as penance, i will rewrite the queue logic this evening if possible.
02/27/2005 qualcomm: if the dildo-rocket was powering her ass along, how did it manage to make her ass go in reverse (which would be required for the adjustment indicated in the ultimate sentence)? dummy.
02/27/2005 Will Disney: i don't think you understand how the dildo rocket works. she normally moves around with the rocket pointing down. she can lower her altitude by tilting the rocker to the side which decreases the vertical lift. it wasn't in there right after she diarrhead all over that bully, so she sidled up to a tree and adjusted it.
02/27/2005 Mr. Pony (5): I would have guessed it was one of these numbers. I guess sometimes simpler *is* better!
02/27/2005 Will Disney: That is awesome pony. My apologies again the community!
02/27/2005 Streifenbeuteldachs (4): What is J. Lo. doing while her ass is gallivanting around pooing on people?
02/27/2005 scoop: I *liked* this thing better before the changes.
02/27/2005 Will Disney: Well, scoop, thank you for your frank opinion!
02/27/2005 Mr. Pony: When it was the severe punishment thing? The sentence?
02/27/2005 scoop: *Yeah*!
02/27/2005 Jawbreaker (5): Hah. Very visual.
02/27/2005 The Rid (5): Hooray!
02/27/2005 cuntry (4):
02/28/2005 John Slocum: That modded dildo rocket must have been pasted with J-Lo's feces, what with it being up her ass and all.
02/28/2005 Will Disney: correct
02/28/2005 qualcomm (3):
02/28/2005 TheBuyer (5): Maybe that bully was just hungry, Jennifer Lopez'es ass is full of shit.
02/28/2005 Jon Matza (3): Let's have some self-respect, people.
02/28/2005 Phony Millions (4): More like it! Disney has an unaffected quality, right? This short does not pretend to be what it is not. I love the fact that it was just her ass flying over the town. It's dumb/funny in a good way.
02/28/2005 Will Disney: Thanks, Phony!
03/1/2005 Dylan Danko (3):