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So these fucking whoring Republican overlords are driving me crazy. Like, they want to control our choices and take away old-fashioned turnstiles and other shit?! Fuck that! So I'm smoking about the shit with Asteroid and he's like, hey man, you're so cosmic you should do like a performance art thing that's anti that shit. So I decide to crank some serious performance art; show those fuckin' peddlers of cancer and war.

So I take a few babies from the commune and tell Natura that I'm takin' the babies for a night camping. She's like it's supposed to keep raining all night and you need to be careful with babies and shit. Druid says she was reincarnated from like a nurse. But man, she's got these bells on her skirt that sound just like the ones on Santa's sleigh. They jingle so you know he's coming, unlike these fucking technology slut insect planes which appear all over the place today! So Natura organizes shit around the commune and keeps her hideous woman genitalia clean by douching with rice vinegar. But anyway, I'm like, man, Natura, rain's natural. Pretty soon she's cool with it--she even packs me a tempeh rueben and tahini yogurt with avocado for the babies.

So I stick the kids in the truck and we all drink some LSD water. They get pretty goosed by the shit, screamin'. We drive around the city for like a bunch of hours then I dose heavy on some PCP and Meth because I need that primal strength. So it's 3AM Sunday and I go to this suburban subway station that's being renovated. I chain the not-original gate to the back of the truck and rip it the shit out of its sockets. Fuckin' cunt-modern gate!! Anyway, goin' down the stairs I fuckin' lose it with this baby and it goes airborn and crumples or dies or something, which must be how I twisted my knee. So I'm like, this kinda shit is more difficult than I remember.

By the time I get all four into the station I'm like, losing focus. I can't figure out how to get the babies' heads to stick on the prongs of the turnstile. The fuckin' room is sweatin' oospheres and trains are everywhere. I go to the truck and come back with a crowbar and sledge hammer. I start widening the mouth of this baby with the tools, but it starts screamin'. I dump some dust in the babies' mouths, so they won't know, right. Then I get the first mouth wide enough to put on an arm of the turnstile. But then shit gets fucked up. I realize that the fourth arm of the turnstile is facing down and it's gonna be mission impossible to get a baby on the bottom arm. But the freakier thing is that during this whole thing I'm fighting away flypaper that's coming down from all these ceilings. I mean these babies are totally tripped-out and dying anyway.

So I get two on the top arm after like, time. One has this hole through his head that he's attached by and the one on top of him has this hole through her stomach because I can't figure out any other way to do it. Then the one on the side I call the left side has a hole through her head and the one on the other side has a hole through his ass. But I definitely don't touch any of their woman areas. Fuckin' whore-free and Luddite-approved turnstile. Then I slather the babies in tahini-avocado-yogurt puree because Natura made it and I remember Druid's rap about reduce, reuse, recycle. Anyway, people are gonna see this shit and have to cover their ears because it pretty much screams, "Keep your pig hands off our babies you fuckin' Republicans." At least that's what I write in bloody babyshit and intestine on this American flag I leave on the floor.

Date Written: February 23, 2005
Author: Partytime
Average Vote: 2.6

03/7/2005 anonymous (2):
03/7/2005 TheBuyer: This is just barely on the good side of the babble/coherent border.
03/7/2005 Dick Vomit: I liked this: "these fucking technology slut insect planes". I liked this: " The fuckin' room is sweatin' oospheres and trains are everywhere." That's all I liked.
03/7/2005 deliciousbrains (5): I thought for a moment that maybe I wrote this myself in some sort of drug-induced waking sleep. It sounds like part two of a short I wrote. Not saying you ripped me off, rather that you and I may be some kind of kindred online spirits. Loved it.
03/7/2005 Klause Muppet: ?????
03/7/2005 Partytime: Buyer, babble can be great and coherent stuff can suck--but I get your point. Hey deliciousbrains, why not post part one of this? I wanna see just how similar it is. We may have the same dad. Was your's ever an obese red-bearded fry cook?
03/7/2005 njaa: Please dont attack deliciousbrains
03/7/2005 deliciousbrains: My story is here. It's similar in tone and subject matter (e.g deplorable neglect and abuse of children with no apologies or justifications made). My dad is a vodka-swilling limey who lives on a boat, but I'm sure he's cooked his share of fries. I'm pretty sure partytime wasn't attacking me, njaa.
03/7/2005 Partytime: Great piece deliciousbrains.

No attack was made njaa. Is njaa your invention db, or just some annoying suitor? Wait don't answer that.
03/7/2005 deliciousbrains: Njaa is someone who seems offended by everything I say, yet follows me from website to website and even defends me sometimes. He/she has a SmarterChild-like charm, misinterpreting everything and answering every question with a crytically off-topic response.
03/7/2005 TheBuyer (2): To do something with this much madness, it has to be done with a lot more clarity or none at all; the drifting is very spastic. It sounds like some guy still on all the crank telling me a story and the story is complete bullshit and is supposed to make me feel something but he's so unconvincing it falls flat. In this context, things like 'the commune' rang false and the haphazard descriptions of the absofuckinglutely everything didn't help fix it. So, ya, babble can be super(!), like the Benny short about the totally insane dog which I'm too fucking lazy to link here, but this is beyond hyper, it's the incoherent, jib induced ramblings of an wannabe drug-addict.

njaa - don't worry about db, I'll keep her safe, like a zombie-bunny in a hutch. She's in good hands - mine.
03/7/2005 Klause Muppet (2):
03/8/2005 njaa: you better leave deliciousbrains alone thebuyer. You don't know any thing abour DB and from the looks of things you dont know any thing about bunnies...I myself beleive that Bunnies are like angel's, but fat. lol And DB dont think I didnt heard that!! I have feelings as well.
03/8/2005 njaa: Goodness gracious me, did I just type that? I should really learn to make better use of the spell check, grammar check, and so on. Actually, now that I re-read my post, I see that maybe a logic and comprehensibility check might be in order. [earnest, unironic wink] I apologise to the community, etc. As for the "attack" thing, I'm sure you're aware by now that I was just having a bit of (admittedly lame) fun with you, DB. Don't take it all, you know, personal. Carry on, all of you. I like some of the work you're doing here.
03/8/2005 Moot (2): not A.D.D. enough to be on the crank. would've lost patience long ago. fair attempt without ever having tried it. dope up and re-write. you'll see.
03/8/2005 TheBuyer: njaa, just funnin ya, fella or gal.