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Well, there may be snow in the forecast, but darn it, if it snows I'll just get out my snowblower and that'll be that! A little spit and hard work and everything takes care of itself!
And in the meantime, try taking Jesus Christ as your lord and savior! He could really help you! Or maybe Allah would work. Or maybe you don't believe Jesus is the resurrected Christ! That means you should consider Judaism!
It all works out folks! There's nothing to be afraid of! You just need to look at the glass as half-full, and everything will be okay!
Date Written: February 28, 2005Comments:
Author: Mr. Positive
Average Vote: 4
03/8/2005 Jawbreaker: Hey, I feel all sunshiny, even though it's snowing! Is this Mr. Positive?
03/8/2005 Will Disney: It certainly *sounds* like him.
03/8/2005 qualcomm (3): almost an four
03/8/2005 Mr. Pony: Wow, and I thought I was cynical!
03/8/2005 Mr. Pony: (referring to the short, and not qc's vote)
03/8/2005 Dylan Danko: Hi, Mr. Pony!
03/8/2005 Mr. Pony: Hey, Dylan! Whatcha doing?
03/8/2005 Dylan Danko: I just gave myself a paper cut in the eye. Seriously. Other than that, sorry I had plans Saturday.
03/8/2005 Jawbreaker (4):
03/8/2005 anonymous: Mr. Pony, there is no cynicism in this short! I truly believe in it! In fact, you might say that the author and narrator shre the same views!
03/8/2005 The Rid: Solid waste material, I reckon.
03/8/2005 Litcube: w/ Rid.
03/8/2005 The Rid: That doesn't mean it's bad, by the way.
03/8/2005 Mr. Negative: Oh, come on. Fuck this short.
03/8/2005 Litcube: Solid waste material? Doesn't mean it's bad? Solid WASTE material. WASTE. I'm thinking poo, here. What are you thinking?
03/8/2005 Mr. Pony: (That's cool, Dylan. I heard you needed to go and eat a salami or something. I can see why you'd want to miss an authentic Hawaiian Luau. That's okay. It's okay. It's okay.)
03/8/2005 Mr. Pony: Well, okay! (Although it would seem that your glass is totally full!) So would it be fair to say that you believe in some sort of Judeo-Christian-Islamic Deity, Author?
03/8/2005 Mr. Pony: Guys? I think calling something poo is the same as calling it bad, unless you're actually talking about poo.
03/8/2005 The Rid: To me, "Waste material" would be just plain bad, but "solid waste material" means not great, but not bad, either. Like a three. Solid waste being easier to deal with than loose waste, for example.
03/8/2005 Mr. Pony: Hey, Rid, are you okay? Would you like us to maybe call someone?
03/8/2005 Mr. Pony: Oh, wait, do you mean, like, "This is solid, but it is nevertheless very much what I would call 'waste material'"?
03/8/2005 The Rid: Pony, that's exactly what I meant. Thanks for the help in articulating. Hooray!
03/8/2005 Litcube: But, Rid, that's fucked up though.
03/8/2005 Mr. Pony: Yeah, it doesn't matter what you actually meant, you still called it doo-doo. The fact that you are able to say you didn't is just weird.
03/8/2005 Litcube: So. You guys wanna go camping?
03/8/2005 The Rid: Pony, it's not weird! Basic Instinct is a shit movie, but you still watch it, right? The comment goes along those lines.
03/8/2005 The Rid: Litcube: Yes!
03/8/2005 Mr. Pony: Well, no, that's not what we're talking about. You said "solid waste material", and at least two of us thought you meant "doodie". Turns out you did not mean that, but I'm saying it was unreasonable for you not to mean that. Like if I had said, "does anyone have an extra-large T-shirt", it would be fairly unreasonable for me to mean, "does anyone have two large-sized T-shirts, one that they are using, and one that they are not?" Do you see what I am saying? Anyway, don't worry about it.
03/8/2005 The Rid: "Unreasonable"? How about misguided? I like that better. Oh, don't worry about it. I just re-read your comment.
03/8/2005 anonymous: Wow! Thats a lot of debate! Im glad my short stimulated such a thoughtful discourse!
03/8/2005 Mr. Pony: Sorry Author, but I think that was the Rid. Now about this deity thing...
03/8/2005 Klause Muppet: I'm in for camping!
03/8/2005 TheBuyer: Author, is the message, 'get your ass to church' like the Landover Baptists always say?
03/9/2005 John Slocum (4): simple and elegant.
03/9/2005 Mr. Positive: TheBuyer, Im afraid Im not familiar with the Landover Baptists, although Im sure theyre charming people!
03/9/2005 TheBuyer: here.
03/9/2005 Mr. Negative (5): I assume the joke's on me here. Good one, asshole.