home authors guest shorts graphical shorts


Simonís tongue lashed at Angelinaís pussy. There were violent lashes, soft lashes and the worst kind of them all; vaginal wall gnawing lashes.

Angelina lifted her head to look at him through her widely spread legs. Simon was the absolute worst pussy-licker Angelina has ever experienced. She always had to fake an orgasm in the first few minutes because all she wanted to do was kick his fucking teeth in every time he placed his mouth over her warm, wet pussy.

This particular night Angelina smiled when Simon shut off the lights, came to bed and slowly kissed his way down to her crotch. She knew he would be so pissed at the end of this and was relishing every second she could.

Right in the middle of a particularly forceful lash that produced a loud moan from Angelina, Simon looked up with a huge smile. Once Angelina saw the bright, red blood encompassing Simonís mouth, Angelina then rocked her hips harder into his face just to smear that much more blood into the crevices of his mouth.

Date Written: March 02, 2005
Author: Jawbreaker
Average Vote: 2.6

03/10/2005 Partytime: Simon must be drunk.
03/10/2005 Will Disney: Wait - what's going on here? She's bleeding down there? Is she hurt?
03/10/2005 Streifenbeuteldachs (2): I think a gnawing lash injured her.
03/10/2005 The Rid: Eeeeewwwwwww!!!!
03/10/2005 The Rid: Ah, I'm just messing with you; I didn't read it yet.
03/10/2005 Mr. Pony: How do you feel about mayonnaise, author?
03/10/2005 Klause Muppet: If he's the "worst pussy-licker", why is Angelina's pussy warm and wet?
03/10/2005 Litcube: The Rid's funny today.
03/10/2005 The Rid (4): I'll give this three plus one for the sheer nastiness. But honestly, this is just gross. Who wrote this?
03/10/2005 Mr. Pony (2): I didn't think this really did a lot except play on that mayonnaise/menstruation reflex we were talking about earlier. That is what's going on, isn't it, author? If not, maybe one of us owes the other an apology. Maybe it's inappropriate for me to be bringing in my new pet theory, but I kind of feel like this just hooks into the M/M Reflex without adding a whole lot, the same way poking someone with a pin will make them say "ow", or something close to it. Klause brings up a good point about Angelina's state of arousal. Also, does Simon have no sense of taste or smell? (an aside: Is the title from a placeholder short?) It may seem like I'm nitpicking, but this story seems to be in quite a rush to get to its punchline. I think paying closer attention to the little details along the way will can make the reader feel more considered, and can make the story seem more real, less contrived, and ultimately, funnier.
03/10/2005 TheBuyer (2): ya, sorry author, too soon behind something similar [not your fault] and not nearly as good or clear [totally your fault]. If it's any consolation, I saved a bunch of money on my car insurance...no I didn't, but I found some cheap gas in Burnaby, it was pretty cool.
03/10/2005 anonymous: Yeah, after I read yesterday's short I was like riiight. Should have included more details about Simon. I was actually trying to not write a long ass short. I failed!
03/10/2005 Mr. Pony: Maybe I failed!
03/10/2005 anonymous: How did you fail, Mr. Pony?
03/10/2005 Mr. Pony: Just not sure that more details about Simon would help, JB!
03/11/2005 Litcube (3): Jawbreaker: Have you pulled this stunt? Pony: Good call.
03/11/2005 qualcomm: incidentally, klause, angelina's pussy is in a warm, wet state before simon begins his furious munching. let's not blame the victim here.
03/11/2005 Jawbreaker: Litcube, just ask The Rid.
03/11/2005 The Rid: Ask The Rid what?
03/11/2005 Litcube: You two doing anything tonight? Misty's havin' people over, and you're invited. BYOB, and the theme is super heroes! So dress up as a super hero! I'm going as Ol' Summer Sausage
03/11/2005 Jawbreaker: Can I dress up like Mr. Pony?
03/11/2005 Litcube: You mean, a suit of shining armour, silver shield, and a clown nose?
03/11/2005 Jawbreaker: Does he wear a big clown wig too? Because, if so, I am there!
03/11/2005 The Rid: I wanna be the former Brad Evans!
03/11/2005 Jawbreaker: I think Rid should be Texx.
03/14/2005 The Rid: FU, Jawbreaker.
03/14/2005 Jawbreaker: Rid, shut the eff up.
03/14/2005 The Rid: Whatever. FU.
03/14/2005 Jawbreaker: Hey Rid: Fuck off.
03/14/2005 Litcube: Dude's. Your debate is going way over my head.