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CIRCUMSTANCE by Markus Greggory Smith
Directed by Hansoff Gus.
MARK An Egyptian pharaoh down on his luck
AMUN The Egyptian God of Creation. He has a ram head
ACT ONE SCENE ONE
(Mark stands alone in his chambers. Dramatically he crosses stage left, then stage right, and ends up stage slightly to the down right middle centre.)
MARK: What life is this? I am bored with it all.
AMUN: Mark! Do not chastise your life, for you have much.
AMUN: I am Amun.
MARK: O forgive me Amun. I should have noticed the colour of your eyes. Thous coming has given my life meaning.
AMUN: Your life had meaning before I arrived.
MARK: O but such a useless meaning! For now-
AMUN: (Amun slaps Mark) Am I not making sense? Your life has purpose. You have purpose. Go forth and live your life with purpose.
MARK: What would the Almighty God of Creation wish me to tell the world?
AMUN: I don't know?... make something up.
MARK: I shall spread it. Give me thou blessing and I shall go.
AMUN: Uhm. (Amun flaps his arms up and down) Off you go then.
MARK: Thank you O Lord. Thou are great.
Date Written: March 07, 2005Comments:
Author: Klause Muppet
Average Vote: 3.1667
03/15/2005 The Rid: I don't get it.
03/15/2005 anonymous: [insert standard T-shirt joke]
03/15/2005 Will Disney: I wonder if 'Mark' was really a common name in Ancient Egypt.
03/15/2005 Klause Muppet: Good point Disney
03/15/2005 TheBuyer (4): Wasn't Cleopatra banging some guy named Mark? Maybe it was Mike, whatever, ancient peoples, their cultures and everyone who studies them are dumb so bwakka-kakka. Funny short. I'm getting laid tonight. Also, I enjoy sushi.
03/15/2005 Will Disney: WHO'S THE LUCKY LADY, THEBUYER?
03/15/2005 anonymous: Wouldn't you like to know?
03/15/2005 Blister Buddy (2): In the "god as a normal dude" genre, this is ok, but not excellent. Kind of reminds me of the old Buffy show, actually, in that sense.
03/15/2005 Litcube (4): I laughed. I hate sushi, but will take anything else high protein. I am not getting laid tonight.
03/15/2005 TheBuyer: It's Pix, it's Pix!
03/15/2005 Klause Muppet: Buyer, You better knock on wood, just in case.
03/15/2005 Litcube: Also, Buyer, you’d better capitalize You, just in case you're a smiley-faced cum belching sycophantic alter boy.
03/15/2005 John Slocum: buyer, can you set up a webcam live simulcast so your beloved acme community can watch? Let's make sure to have an exciting facial at the end.
03/15/2005 TheBuyer: do you mean after I'm done crying from the overwhelming beautiful intimacy of our joining, or after she's inflated and powdered?
03/15/2005 anonymous: (*snort*) I'm so glad my short has generated so much conversation... about The Buyer's sex life. (*snort*)
03/15/2005 TheBuyer: sorry guy. Stella tall-boy?
03/15/2005 anonymous: Buyer, shouldn't you be unfastening an overall strap right about now instead of typing away on your keyboard?
03/15/2005 Mr. Pony (3): I thought there was some almost funny stuff here--Didn't quite hit the mark for me, though. Like BB says, regular dude god is okay, but I think if you want to do something stock like that, I think you have to do it really well or add something new. I liked this more on the first reading, you should know. For some stupid reason "He has a ram head" actually got funnier on subsequent readings--maybe that's what got you up to three.
03/15/2005 Pix: I'm confused. What does our fabulous and intimate sex life have to do with this short? PS. I really wish TheBuyer wouldn't cry so much after. I know I am great and all but its getting a little old.
03/15/2005 Litcube: What, the sex? AAAAAHaa ha ha [burp].
03/16/2005 John Slocum (3): Pony, thank you for doing the thinking for me after such a trying day. My fight with Litcube really sapped me of energy and motivation. But I basically agree more or less with what you wrote. One thing I would add is I liked the readability.
03/16/2005 John Slocum: also enjoyed this: 'AMUN: (Amun bitch slaps Mark)'
03/16/2005 Mr. Pony: I thought this about that: It might have been funnier if it had read simply Amun slaps Mark. "Bitch-slap" is sort of, I don't know, a pre-fab phrase. It's at least kind of funny out of the box, and while it might work here, I have a hard time assigning credit, like when someone makes a reasonably tasty dish using Campbell's Cream of Mushroom Soup.
03/16/2005 Litcube: Klause? Wouldn't have thought this was you. Actually, I thought this was Pix based on TheBuyer's comments.
03/16/2005 Partytime (3): This has a Mel Brooks meets Godot thing going on. Liked the premise of a high school play where the playwrite named the hero after himself and took on a "deep" theme. Enjoyed the director's comments. Glad bitch slap was changed to slap. Need to get the mistake amun attribution out of there.
03/16/2005 Klause Muppet: yeah, i've been changing it up a bit... you know, on my days off and junk.