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The Rid was a ghastly fellow. Cursing this way and that.
The girls sang the songs of Rid, skipping through the playground hand in hand.
The boys gathered in the washroom, sharing smokes and writing Rid lore on the bathroom stall door.
* * *
"Daddy," Billy said, kneeling on the window seat and looking into the night, "will you tell me the story of the Ridder tonight?"
"The one with the lion?"
"No daddy, the one where he leaves his home for adventure!"
* * *
Anton sat beneath the willow tree absently watching the sun set. Leaning his head against the bark, he closed his eyes and started to sing.
Over the hills and between the trees,
I shall venture far.
Across the plains I do dare go,
I shall venture far.
There is no patch of Gods green earth,
That I will not see.
For I am the Ridder, the Ridder, the Ridder.
You shall fear me!
Excerpts from Graylick Revisited, Graylick Dramblegumper
Date Written: April 22, 2005Comments:
Author: Klause Muppet
Average Vote: 2.25
05/2/2005 The Rid: That's Riddler. Assbag!
05/2/2005 Jawbreaker: The riddler is SO much better!
05/2/2005 Jawbreaker: Fuck, I don't know what I did there! Ah! My comment was:
The Riddler sounds SO much better.
05/2/2005 Will Disney: Okay, guys, you are on the front page now! Let's get with the program content-wise!
05/2/2005 The Rid: Disney, I was merely correcting our lovely author. It's not Ridder, dude. If you're gonna make fun, at least get your facts straight. Yeah! That being said, I don't really think this short is good or bad. It just is. Or something.
05/2/2005 Klause Muppet (3): Yeah Guest Month!
05/2/2005 anonymous: The Rid, I assure you this was not meant to "make fun".
05/2/2005 Streifenbeuteldachs: Urge to two-star...rising...
05/2/2005 Litcube (2):
05/2/2005 Turgid: Let's pull it together, people.
05/2/2005 anonymous: The Rid's persona is like Freddy Krueger cool. Little boys want to be him and girls are scared of him.
05/2/2005 Turgid (3): Somewhat ambitious.
05/2/2005 The Rid: Making fun or no, I'm not sure it's very good. You know?
05/2/2005 Klause Muppet: I liked your previous comment, Rid, I certainly think it's "something". It's not really funny, but I'm not sure if it's suppose to be. More of a look into the lives of people that have been affected by you. Or perhaps these are exerts from Graylick Dramblegumper's novel.
05/2/2005 Mr. Pony: Folks, producing winning content is just half the Acme battle. The remaining third is thoughtful criticism. Let's ask ourselves some questions beyond "Is this good?" For example, what do you think the author was trying to accomplish with this work? How successful was the author in getting his ideas across? How does the author's intention jibe with the words "on" the "page"? If it's funny, why is it funny? Which Kids in the Hall sketch does this work remind you of, and why? These are the seeds of good discussion and lively debate! You're all too smart to engage in simple lazy voting (I'm looking in your direction, Litcube!) Next time, let's hear you all articulate what you have to say (great start, Klause!). The first person to say "This is just bad" gets a demerit.
05/2/2005 Dave Heiny (3): This is just good.
05/2/2005 Mr. Pony: Oh, Dave.
05/2/2005 Templeton Dink: This short touches on how harmful The Rid can be to the minds of children but doesn't even mention why. Is the author suggesting he's a myth or a monster? I'm distressed that anyone should think that I wrote this.
05/2/2005 The Rid: Well, thanks Pony. I appreciate you taking the time to help the guests out. There is an inherent problem with this short, though: It's not interesting enough to debate, and for that matter, no one has put forth any argument which is debatable. This short simply takes up virtual space. Now, with that said, I think the author is trying to have a little fun with his fellow guest and is trying not to be too mean-spirited. In fact, I'd guess s/he finds me innocuous. So why bother? Of course, I don't really want anyone to come out and call me a cunt, either. So I guess if anyone's gonna write anything, this is choice. But what do I know? Oh, and this reminds a me a little bit of McCulloch's "These Are the Daves I Know."
05/2/2005 Klause Muppet: I'm gathering that "Guest Month" means that only Guests participate and Authors don't vote, etc??? I feel so much pressure to pull up my pants, roll up my sleeves, and get serious.
If only I could think of something to say... Litcube?
05/2/2005 Litcube: Hi, Klause. Hi, Pony. The wind's knocked out of me as of late, so I've been pretty quiet. As for the short, I found it lacked direction. One could say that it wasn't all that funny either, but I suppose if I twisted my nose a little and imagined that this short had a point to make... Just maybe. Anyway, hello fellow guests!
05/2/2005 Mr. Pony: Everyone needs some space to make potentialities actual. I am letting you know that you have it!
05/2/2005 Klause Muppet: Hi Litcube! Perhaps Dink is right, the Rid is a myth. And people have assumptions on who this Rid is: Dink dislikes him and Jawbreaker thinks he's great! Yet I don't know who the Rid really is and never will. This short seems to take the "Rid's persona" to the next level. Is he good or bad? Does it matter? One thing for sure, he's definitely on everyone's mind.
05/3/2005 The Rid: Am I a myth? To paraphrase Gwen Stefani, I'm just a dude.
05/3/2005 Klause Muppet: Litcube and I just saw "Kung Fu Hustle". Fuck yeah bitches!
05/3/2005 Litcube: Holy Fucking Shit!
05/3/2005 Klause Muppet: Hah!
05/3/2005 Jawbreaker: As Klause said, I am a fan of the Rid. I think some people think he is too critical or obnoxious but I think he is stating his opinion like everyone else on this site. Therefore, Rid = good. But, I guess it really doesn't matter, huh?
05/3/2005 qualcomm (1): incoherent lustrelessness
05/3/2005 Klause Muppet: Thanks Qualcomm.
05/3/2005 The Rid: I'm still a Klause fan, Klause.
05/3/2005 John Slocum: Pony: should I pile on a low vote here and above (see above short) without a comment, or only if I make a thoughtful comment?
05/3/2005 Klause Muppet: Thoughtful comments appreciated. Oh... pony! Right. Sorry.
05/3/2005 Mr. Pony: That just depends on how much a part of the Lustre you want to be, John!!
05/4/2005 John Slocum: who's john?
05/4/2005 Klause Muppet: who's asking?
05/4/2005 Jon Matza: Whom
05/4/2005 Mr. Pony: Wait a minute. The Rid is short for "The Riddler"? Like, the Gotham City serial criminal?
05/4/2005 anonymous: I think you meant to say cereal criminal.
05/4/2005 Mr. Pony: You talk about that guy a lot!