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She sat there like a tumor. Benign, but irritating. “Hey!” I screamed at her. “Get up, you fucking lump!” She didn't move. "Hey! I'm not going to ask twice!" Nothing. "Fine! Who's next?" One of the children in the back hesitantly stood up. "I am, Doctor."

Date Written: May 02, 2005
Author: Klause Muppet
Average Vote: 3.16667

Comments:
05/9/2005 Turgid (4): Nice surprise.
05/9/2005 Klause Muppet (4):
05/9/2005 TheBuyer (2): ERROR! First off, cancer isn't usually benign, it's a cancer - that's why they call it that...
think about dolphins, think about dolphins
Gosh darnit, close but no cigar! Better luck next time, fella/bitch!
05/9/2005 qualcomm: feels turgidy/texxxlike, this one
05/9/2005 The Rid (2): Yeah, the cancer description...that's clumsy and just plain bad. What's the point of this? To produce a laugh? Failed. To be an example of what it feels like to go to the doctor? Failed. The patient is dead? Asleep? Alive? Unclear.
05/9/2005 Mr. Pony (2): COUNTER-ERROR!! No mention of cancer is made, and tumors can be benign as well as cancerous. That said, I am unmoved by this. It seems to be a fairly simple joke, but the writing/overwriting really trips it up.
05/9/2005 Mr. Pony: Hey, qualcomm, shouldn't you be logging in as the you-know-what to suggest stuff like that?
05/9/2005 Jon Matza: Are you saying this is about a birth, Pony? I don't see that.
05/9/2005 Jon Matza: Turg for sure.
05/9/2005 qualcomm: what are you talking about?
05/9/2005 Dave Heiny (4): It flowed nicely like a 13 year olds first forray into menstrual bleeding. Fuck the "real" authors, they're jaded anyway. Nice job.
05/9/2005 Mr. Pony: Hi, Dave! What do you mean by "jaded"?
05/9/2005 Mr. Pony: Do you mean "awesome"?
05/9/2005 Dave Heiny: why yes! Only "some" are left in "awe".
05/9/2005 TheBuyer: Mr. Pony, I've been HAD! The cancer was removed, I promise this was edited. Unfortunately, I cleared my browser cache and cannot prove it.
05/9/2005 Jon Matza: Speaking of which, if they can remove a foetus from a lady's putang why's it so hard to cure cancer? Doctors?
05/9/2005 Mr. Pony: I'll field this one, Doctors. The reason that cancer is so bad is that it tricks your body into makeing [sic] more of it!!! with the killing of unborn babies it is different because a single baby in the womb makes it hard (difficult) for another of God's children to sperm his way up thru the vagina and into the birth canal and into the uterous [sic].
05/10/2005 Turgid: You are all wrong.
05/10/2005 qualcomm: yep. but you have to admit, i nailed your ass before. nailed it good. so.... are you texxx?
05/10/2005 Turgid: I wish I were Texxx. That guy gets a lot of run on this site.
05/10/2005 TheBuyer: Don't wish, be.
05/10/2005 Jon Matza: "run"?
05/10/2005 Mr. Pony: Jaws noise... Jaws noise... Jaws noise Jaws noise Jaws noise Jaws noise Jaws noise Jaws noise Jaws noise Jaws noise Jaws noise Jaws NOI-HOISE!
05/13/2005 Litcube (5):
05/26/2005 Litcube: Klause, you *&$#@##$!
05/26/2005 Klause Muppet: Wha' happened?