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Date Written: May 16, 2005
Author: Klause Muppet
Average Vote: 3.66667

05/27/2005 Will Disney: So he really likes bangs, eh?
05/27/2005 Mr. Pony (4.5): Okay, you got me.
05/27/2005 Streifenbeuteldachs (3): that penis sure was horny
05/27/2005 Litcube (4.5): I made the sound effects in my head on that last panel. "Plbft," I said. Also extracted short three-burst laugh.
05/27/2005 The Rid: This is funny why?
05/27/2005 Klause Muppet: Premature Ejaculation, try!
05/27/2005 Klause Muppet: Talking Penis, try!
05/27/2005 Mr. Pony: I like that the ejaculate is a stupid little puff.
05/27/2005 Dylan Danko: is this a tie-in with the phallic logo awards?
05/27/2005 Mr. Pony: Rid, a funny thing happens when one compares the shorts that you leave your "Ehhh. Someone tell me why this is funny" comment on with ones that you instead give a high rating to and quote the unfunniest line you can find. What is this funny thing that happens to one? One gets confused, that's what! I guess it really does take all kinds!
05/27/2005 qualcomm (3):
05/27/2005 The Rid: Pony, your subtle jabs at me continue to wound. I hope you're happy, sir.
05/27/2005 qualcomm: he makes a very good point, the rid. why did you like that crappy line?
05/27/2005 Jon Matza (4): Cheap but effective...I ZA found a gratifying portion of "humor" in the angle of the cock & ejac.
05/27/2005 TheBuyer (3.5): I can't wait for the next one "A Screaming Penis".
05/27/2005 Litcube: Heh.
05/27/2005 Mr. Pony: Look, Ridder, I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings, but why do you think a person shouldn't have to be held accountable for what they do and say? That's a strange thing to think.
05/27/2005 Klause Muppet: He's a ladies man-penis, Buyer. He doesn't "scream" he woos.
05/27/2005 The Rid: I didn't say I shouldn't be held accountable. I just thought the line which you referenced was funny. Is that a crime, sir? I think not. If you noticed, sometimes I find The Banal funny.
05/27/2005 qualcomm: listen, rid: everyone gets to insult everyone else here. as long as they can support the insult with yumor (that's right: yumor. i also say yuman now.) and/or evidence, acmeshorts encourages it.
05/27/2005 qualcomm: also, your last comment was sort of contradictory. on the one hand, you said you should be held accountable for what you say here. on the other, you seem to be implying that pony was accusing you of a crime. how then, sir, is one to hold you accountable, if not by the means pony employed? i don't recall him accusing you of criminality.
05/27/2005 The Rid: Listen, qualcomm: I'm not suggesting I shouldn't be ridiculed. I'm suggesting Pony shouldn't be so passive-aggressive and should just go with it like the rest of you. Okay, cunts?
05/27/2005 The Rid (2.5): PS.
05/27/2005 Front: Sorry, what's on her cheek?
05/27/2005 qualcomm: furthermore, on a more serious note, to me, "held accountable" means you should be able to defend your sense of yumor. saying that you simply find stupid things funny is not an adequate defense. ie, you are not accounting for yourself, and are therefore holding yourself above accountability.
05/27/2005 qualcomm: i don't get what you mean, honestly. you seem to be contradicting yourself again. on the one hand, you're saying it's okay to ridicule you, and on the other, pony should just "go with it." so, in your mind, what would have been an appropriate way for pony to ridicule you on this particular point? i for one didn't think pony's comment was passive-aggressive at all; he was pretty much openly insulting your taste. well within our hallowed traditions.
05/27/2005 qualcomm: (i am against pretty much any cry of "no fair" here. that's not what we're about.)
05/27/2005 qualcomm: klause, your comix have the most disgusting color schemes i've ever seen. congratulations.
05/27/2005 Litcube: Rid, as someone who is also very sensitive (and to a large extent, proud to be, save when said trait is ridiculed) I think I can offer some advice, for what itís worth. You don't have to listen to it. When youíre backed into a corner and there's sand in your eyes, instead of wailing and furiously swinging blindly in hopes of landing a punch (which I totally do sometimes), I've found the situation is far more tolerable and manageable for all parties involved when you can level with them in a mature fashion, look them in the eye and masturbate.
05/27/2005 The Rid: qualcomm, I think you're looking for an argument that doesn't exist. To say that I think the particular line in question that you all found stupid yet I found funny - I can't remember the line at the mement, but I remember that I imagined it in a dumb B Western from the '50s Indian caricature voice and that made me laugh. So maybe I found my interpretation of the line funny and not the line itself. But since it appeared in said short, I gave high marks. And since it appeared near the end of the short, it was fresher in my mind than some other stuff at the beginning of the short. I'm not re-reading any of this before I post, btw.
05/27/2005 The Rid: As for my perception of Pony's is-it-or-isn't-it passive-aggressiveness, I just responded in what I thought was a similar tone to his original comment and didn't put much thought into it. And by the way, what do you care of my exchange with Pony, anyway?
05/27/2005 The Rid: I mean, he seems to be taking a pass, is all.
05/27/2005 Klause Muppet: OH MY GOD! What is that on her cheek! Get it off! Get it off!
05/27/2005 Front: Please explain, Klause. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
05/27/2005 Klause Muppet: Let me take a closer look...
05/27/2005 qualcomm: my only interest in the argument was your seeming cry of "no fair." really grates my grocery hole when people say that here.
05/27/2005 The Rid: Ah, well, I think it's all perfectly fair.
05/27/2005 The Rid: I mean, when I write something like, "Pony, your subtle jabs at me continue to wound," I'm not serious.
05/27/2005 Mr. Pony: Rid, your characterization of my attack on you as passive-aggressive is as ridiculous as characterizing your own style of attack (i.e. "You cunt", "you cunt", "you cunt", etc.) as aggressive. I agree with most of what qualcomm said; you have gotten yourself into a bit of a logical bind with him, and I'm interested to see how you'll extricate yourself. Also, Litcube makes and excellent point--everyone could probably benefit from more masturbation.

Anyway, I'm guessing that you took my original comment as passive-aggressive because of the following:

I am often irritated by your bizarrely authoritative, snottily dismissive, and ultimately insubstantive comments on shorts (most often guest shorts), especially because you so often heap praise on specific lines in other shorts that I personally find weak, or unfunny, or witty in a bad way. Nevertheless, I feel that arguments about personal taste tend to dead-end quickly, and felt it was better to leave my objection at that, defusing it somewhat with the "it take all kinds" thing (which I assume you took as me trying to be "passively aggressive"). Either that, or it was because I didn't swear.
05/27/2005 Mr. Pony: Wait, if you were totally kidding about your original response, then this whole conversation is irrelevant.
05/27/2005 The Rid: Yeah.
05/27/2005 qualcomm: rid, i didn't think your "wounded" comment was serious. but i thought you were being at least half-serious with your subsequent comments of "is that a crime" and "just go with it." also, i just wanted to hear a coherent explanation for why you liked the line pony cited.
05/27/2005 The Rid: Well, my explanation of the line is below. I don't know how coherent it is, but that's what I thought.
05/27/2005 The Rid: And no, my "crime" line wasn't serious, either. I don't remember what I thought about "go with it."
05/27/2005 Mr. Pony: In an interesting turn of events, I was kidding about the entire conversation being irrelevant.
05/27/2005 The Rid: Does this mean we have to continue?
05/27/2005 qualcomm: please tell me why that line was funny, rid. please? search your feelings.
05/27/2005 The Rid: I already explained it. Read below!
05/27/2005 Mr. Pony: Well, I've said everything I want to. If you don't feel the need to respond, Rid, I'm okay with that. I would be interested to hear what you think you might have meant by "just go with it".
05/27/2005 Jon Matza: Mellow mint?
05/27/2005 Jon Matza: Mellow mint?
05/27/2005 Jon Matza: MELLOW MINT!??!
05/27/2005 qualcomm: please, the rid, i'm dying over here
05/27/2005 The Rid: Oh, no you're not. You're bored!
05/27/2005 qualcomm: what's jawbreaker wearing?
05/27/2005 The Rid: She's wearing a black & white floral print skirt and a black tanktop.
05/27/2005 qualcomm: bra?
05/27/2005 Jawbreaker: I field this one Rid... red.
05/27/2005 Poop (5): Is that a piece of poop above the penis?
05/27/2005 Poop: Poop
05/27/2005 Daphne: So what's qualcomm wearing, then? Anyone?
05/27/2005 Dylan Danko: A merkin
05/27/2005 Jon Matza: I'M more interested in what people are wearing metaphysically (Matza admires profile in mirror)
05/27/2005 Klause Muppet: A crown. An Axe. A falcon. Stars. And a few things I can't make out.
05/27/2005 anonymous: qualcomm, you've inspired me.
05/27/2005 John Slocum: This thread is the last straw. The Rid: You're uninvited. Jawbreaker: come alone.
05/27/2005 The Rid: Oh, Slocum.
05/27/2005 Jawbreaker: Oh Slocum... Rid and I must go together ok?
05/27/2005 John Slocum: Oh...okay. Sorry, it was the red bra thing.
05/27/2005 John Slocum (3): Not alot here for me, but I like the penis quivering as it ramps up to spew, panel 5.
05/28/2005 Jawbreaker: What's wrong with the red bra thing? It was my fashion mistake, not Rid's!
05/28/2005 The Rid: Jawbreaker, you've been known to commit many fashion mistakes.
05/29/2005 Jawbreaker: Shut up, Rid! I dress very nicely, ok?
05/29/2005 Klause Muppet: OK!
05/29/2005 Pusher Robot: We are here to protect you. Rid, do you have stairs in your home? We are here to protect you. Jawbreaker, go stand by the stairs so we can protect you. We are here to protect you from the terrible secret of space. Humans must be shoved.
05/29/2005 Mr. Pony: My god, it's about time.