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WHAT IS THIS PROBLEM? Ok, guys, there is a problem. It is sharks. HOW BIG IS THIS PROBLEM? People are totally being eaten by sharks all over the world. In places like Australia, The United States, and in Canada, and in Mexico, and in Denmark, and in the U.S.S.R., and in the India, people are totally fucking being eaten by sharks. People are dying, dudes. It is not cool. WHY IS THIS A PROBLEM? - Getting eaten by a shark totally hurts you. - Having your face eaten by a shark is bunk. - Having your arm eaten by a shark is not cool. - Sharks are almost invincible. - You can die if your face is eaten by a shark. - You can die if all that’s left of you is your face if the shark eats you (you need your body). DUDE. SERIOUS. There's a lot of times in the news where you see people, and they're being eaten by sharks, and you're like, "ow, it must totally hurt being eaten by sharks." Think about a shark eating you in the face. If you just said that must totally hurt a lot, and I saw you say it, I’d say “yes.” HOW CAN WE RESOLVE THIS PROBLEM? I don't know. But what I do know is, people who are dying all over the world would seriously like us to do something about all these sharks eating people in the face. Right now, I bet, there's someone in a huge lake, and he's all, "fuck! This shark's got all my legs in his huge mouth! Help me! Fuck! He's eating all of my face! Get this shark off me!" Think about this dude as if he was your neighbour. Now tell me you don't hate sharks.
Date Written: June 06, 2005
Average Vote: 4.1875