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Everyone quietly worked at their desks except for Tom, the zippy accounting clerk. Searching for his next inane discourse he spotted Tonya Baggievaaj entering the office. “CHAA!” Tom dorked, karate kicking the air and just missing her face. Tonya smiled awkwardly and kept on walking. Tom followed. “Chaa! Chaa!” Two more karate kicks! Tonya turned and stopped. “Tom, I've got a lot to do right now.” “Whieee-YAH!” Karate slice to the neck! “Tom!” “Whaaah-KAH-KAH-KAH!” Three solar jabs! “Tom, if you don't leave me alone I'm going to tell everyone in the office I caught you masturbating in the utility closet!” Litcube stood up from the neighboring cubicle, pointing two fingers at Tonya's breasts. "Why must you soil the sanctity of this short?"

Date Written: June 06, 2005
Author: Klause Muppet
Average Vote: 2.9

06/6/2005 Jawbreaker (4.5): I really enjoyed this. Reminds me of a co-worker of mine that always trying to get under my skin.
06/6/2005 qualcomm (1.5):
06/6/2005 Klause Muppet: ouch!
06/6/2005 Litcube (4): Ok, this was funny.
06/6/2005 qualcomm: goddamn. i'm leaving this place forever.
06/6/2005 Mr. Pony: But who will be our mascot?
06/6/2005 Dylan Danko: Dude, if you stay I promise to write a short.
06/6/2005 qualcomm: yeah? do you promise to make it suck, or are you planning some major break from tradition?
06/6/2005 qualcomm: it doesn't matter. i'm leaving.
06/6/2005 qualcomm: none of you will get what you want.
06/6/2005 Mr. Pony: What about me? I'm pretty content as I am.
06/6/2005 Klause Muppet: hey qualcomm, relax guy. i mean, hey, it's cool. relax.
06/6/2005 qualcomm: i shan't relax. not with disingenous voting running rampant on the site.
06/6/2005 Dylan Danko: Your response to my valuable offer, QC, is funny if you imagine the real Craig Lewis saying it.
06/6/2005 Italo Calvino: Anyone seen Elie Weisel? I'm gonna murder that cunt!
06/6/2005 Mr. Pony: Just because you disagree with a vote doesn't make it disingenuous, qualcomm. Besides, you've admitted to dropping a bad rating because you disapproved of the opinion behind (and not the quality of) a short before.
06/6/2005 The Rid (2): Jawbreaker, that co-worker sounds like a good guy.
06/6/2005 The Rid: Oh, and FU.
06/6/2005 Klause Muppet: QC/Rid, I'm sure the author still thinks highly of you.
06/6/2005 Litcube: Qualcomm will be leaving Acmeshorts because I have rated this short 4 stars.
06/6/2005 Klause Muppet: Litcube.
06/6/2005 Mr. Pony (2.5): Thought this was kind of cute for what it was, but the bottom line is that it feels like an ad for Office Depot or something.
06/6/2005 Will Disney: What if she had karate chopped him back? Then what?
06/6/2005 Mr. Pony: It would have been an ad for Snapple.
06/6/2005 Klause Muppet: Fuck off Tom!
06/7/2005 TheBuyer: oh Klause, I don't know.
06/7/2005 Klause Muppet: oh Buyer
06/8/2005 Litcube: Why must you soil the sanctity of this short?
06/8/2005 Klause Muppet: I'll look into it.
06/9/2005 Litcube: Nice.