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I decided to try my luck at the jetty, but it wasn't in the cards. A few isolated fishermen struggled with an early morning catch. Even though I clutched my pole with confidence as I approached the edge, I decided right then and there to abstain from casting yet another fruitless line into the fruitless sea. I then laughed aloud at the obvious metaphor that failed to take shape, for I would never utter those exact words. Late at night, back at the docks, the salty air was particularly pungent. Her dark hair swirled all around me as I closed my eyes and began to piss into the waves below. Waters were connecting, however insignificant. I opened my eyes. To my chagrin, the limp member in my hand looked utterly lifeless. The moans of a stray cat in heat, growing louder as the animal approached, weren't even enough to play Dr. Frankenstein to my electricity-less penis-corpse. A few drops of warm rain hit the back of my neck. Or was it Johnny playing a joke from his customary perch? ...jetty, docks, piss, cat, urine, moan, Suzie, piss...

Date Written: June 09, 2005
Author: Turgid
Average Vote: 3.5

06/15/2005 Will Disney (4.5):
06/15/2005 Will Disney: I'm presuming this is Turgid. I love this kind of Short.
06/15/2005 anonymous: Weak. Hollow and overinvolved: trying to be clever but simply short and boring. Scared writer holding back.
06/15/2005 The Rid: Interesting, Disney. I don't really like this kind of short, though its tone is consistent, at least.
06/15/2005 The Rid: Interesting, Disney. I don't really like this kind of short, though its tone is consistent, at least.
06/15/2005 Litcube: This is a weird one. Not sure what to make of it.
06/15/2005 The Rid: Here's what to make of it: Ptthhhtttpt.
06/15/2005 qualcomm (2.5): i like the first two grafs all right.
06/15/2005 The Rid (2.5): Stylized but annoying. Wish I could behind the joke, but it's telegraphed and dull. Plus .5 for maintaining tone throughout.
06/15/2005 The Rid: *get behind
06/15/2005 Mr. Pony: That's too bad; I would've liked to watch you try to behind the joke.
06/15/2005 Klause Muppet (4): I've read this a few times now and it's not making any more sense. Choice!
06/16/2005 Mr. Pony: I kinda feel con Klause on this one. Pony's going to need your help, folks. Disney--What kind of short is this? Ridder--what is the joke that is telegraphed? anon_user_a--what is the writer afraid of?
06/16/2005 The Rid: Maybe it's not a joke but I saw all the pee stuff coming from the line "clutched my pole."
06/16/2005 Jon Matza: While I didn't find this short to be particularly vice-chancellour, I must say that Turgid deserves some--not a huge amount, mind you--credit for willingness to experiment & try out different, non-standard acme scenarios & set ups.
06/17/2005 Templeton Dink (4): Turgid is, from what I've seen, the bravest guest on this website. Although, based on his comments, he shouldn't make comments and will be more valuable as a pure element. Good job, I reward your courage, sir.