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God was sitting in his newly tiled office flipping through Jehova's Witnesses' applications for Paradise when he was interrupted by a tiny voice.
"God?" it said.
It was coming from a small bag in his coat pocket. It was a very tiny voice.
"God? Where do babies come from?"
He opened a drawer in his desk without looking and pulled out another small bag, a little wriggley figure inside laughed as the bag was lifted into the air. He tipped it out into the pocket and put the empty bag back into his desk. With very little time for introductions the sex struggles of the two tiny beings dislodged God's coat from the back of the chair and it crumpled to the floor, ruined in a dusty heap on the poorly selected charcoal-briquette tiles.
He looked at his ruined coat and at the terrible choice of tiles and he shook his head and went back to work.
Date Written: June 09, 2005Comments:
Average Vote: 2.92857
06/13/2005 Will Disney: Is this some sort of alternate creation story? If so, strange that there are already Jehovah's Witnesses, no?
06/13/2005 The Rid: Disney, you violated your own rule, no?
06/13/2005 The Rid: Graf 5 confuses me. There were two beings? What?
06/13/2005 Will Disney: That wasn't my rule, therid. I was simply documenting it!
06/13/2005 anonymous: Rid, one was in his coat, the other one was in his desk. He put the one from his desk into his coat where the two beings fucked.
06/13/2005 The Rid: Ah! Yes, Author, I got it now.
06/13/2005 anonymous: Disney, it's not a creation story, it's just God doing paperwork. The two little beings aren't necessarily people, I don't know what they are, God always has a bunch of weird shit on him and in his desk.
06/13/2005 qualcomm: author, i don't understand. why does the unified field theory need a coat? how does quantum mechanics open a desk drawer? and at what point did 11-dimension superstrings decide to tile their office?
06/13/2005 anonymous: Right, that's a pretty common mistake but this is the other God, the one who really enjoys the smell of barbeque and cashmere.
06/13/2005 qualcomm: no, i just don't understand how the elegant physical laws that govern our universe manage to flip through applications and pick up bags and such.
06/13/2005 anonymous: Nor should you understand those things, they're mysteries. Why would anyone worhsip a non-mysterious God?
06/13/2005 qualcomm (2.5):
06/13/2005 anonymous: You fucking heretic.
06/13/2005 Mr. Pony (3.5): I think the execution could be better (like, "poorly-selected" bugs me, because that thought is pretty well covered in the next para') but I like the ideas here. I have been pondering the ideas all morning. Keep in mind, Arthur; that ideas are not real things.
06/13/2005 The Rid (2.5): No. I just don't like it at a gut level. Something about writing God as just another guy seems forced. Writing a little clumsy, too.
06/13/2005 Jon Matza (2.5): I am disappointed in you, God.
06/14/2005 TheBuyer: Children make me smile.
06/14/2005 Klause Muppet (3):
06/14/2005 Litcube (3):
06/14/2005 Poop (3.5): Poop!