home authors guest shorts graphical shorts

AcmeShorts

It was ever so difficult for Winslow, an exceedingly sensitive boy, to be cheery at Blasted Heath Boarding School.

"Why," he wondered, "Must human society, an outgrowth of something as harmonious and beautiful as nature, be so disharmonious and ugly?"

"What," he considered, "Is the nature of Method?"

But the others weren't interested these questions. It was only "bugger this" and "piss off" and "I'll break your fucking legs!" They despised him because he simply couldn't share their enthusiasm for Rock 'n Roll.

Bethany Sommersshrop, who had seemed the model of virtue and delicacy, laughed at him when he asked her to the Spring cotillion.

The lamentations of Winslow Blastula redounded off the fallow hills of Brinebarren Moor.

Date Written: December 30, 1899
Author: qualcomm
Average Vote: 4.75

Comments:
06/4/2004 John Slocum: This is such a Danko rip-off.
06/4/2004 qualcomm: holy shit! lerpa hat trick on the homepage
06/4/2004 John Slocum: Nice work, buddy! 'Hat trick' is an uncharacteristicly sporty term for The Lerpa. What's next? Game, set, match for The Lerpa? Punt return? 3-pointer? Icing? Off-sides? etc.
06/4/2004 qualcomm: goggly!
06/4/2004 scoop: "Punt Return!" Holy shit that's like the funniest thing ever!
06/4/2004 scoop: Ahh, I'm just kiddin'.
06/4/2004 scoop (5): This has a Texas Chainsaw Massacre gravitas to it that should, like, totally not be ignored.
06/4/2004 John Slocum (5): There. Now can I please vote on Dylan's short?
01/25/2005 Ewan Snow:
01/25/2005 Ewan Snow (4): uh!
04/26/2006 Master Bates (5): why?