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Anywhere else but here. He couldn’t stand this joint. Too many people, buildings everywhere he looked, and everything cost too damn much- In short, a real shit hole! But this…this took the cake. Ten bucks to take a shit! He shook out a smoke and lit it. The smoke drifted up, and the Molecule watched it get sucked into the intake vent. How the fuck did he get here. He’d been walking down some oversized avenue and the urge- goddamn THE URGE- it hit him hard. Earlier, when he drank the last of his protein shake, he had a feeling it could be trouble. The body can’t absorb too much protein quickly enough. Whatever’s left over starts a chain reaction- and the end result ain’t pretty. That meant he wasn’t gonna take any chances, not with his track record. His pace increased, sometimes that helped. Godamn it- public shit house or the sidewalk. Yeah, ain’t really much of a choice. He wiped his credit card, fingered the pin, and the door sliced open. Looked clean, faint smell of shit, not too bad. By the time his ass hit the plastic shielded toilet seat- The urge was gone. Vaporized. What the- The Molecule took another drag, sometimes a smoke helped loosen things. The plastic protector on the toilet seat crinkled a little. A timer on the door counted down the minutes. Jesus, ten bucks only gets you ten minutes. Outside, he could hear the dull roar of traffic. The faint pattern of pedestrians. Time’s almost up, and no shit. Fuck it! Might as well take a piss. He urinates. Just like a girl.

Date Written: July 07, 2005
Author: mr.coffee
Average Vote: 3.91667

07/19/2005 TheBuyer: Molecule sits down to pee. I'm gonna razz him like a motherfucker next time I see him.
07/19/2005 TheBuyer (4.5):
07/19/2005 Litcube: Hrm.
07/19/2005 Klause Muppet (4.5): Enjoyed! Laughed too!
07/19/2005 The Rid: Litcube, I kind of agree with your assessment. Think we'll get yelled at today, too?
07/19/2005 Litcube: Yes, we'll probably get yelled at. But on account of Pony's absence today (he looms rather than participates on his publishing dates), I think we we’ll evade the brunt of the assault.
07/19/2005 TheBuyer: You two faeries stop twiddling your tampon strings and feign some respect for the molecule, you vegetarian refries.
07/19/2005 The Rid: So it's the molecule. Big whoop! His name could be "Ed" and the story would turn out the same: Not all that interesting. 'Course, this does remind me of the (much less expensive) public toilet outside Coit Tower in San Francisco.
07/19/2005 TheBuyer: The molecule has a history with public toilets and feces.
here, here, and here.
07/19/2005 The Rid: Wow, seems the Molecule - and by extension, Mr. Coffee - really have a thing about poop. Why hasn't Poop voted?
07/19/2005 Poop (5): Poop!
07/19/2005 The Rid (2): The whole Molecule series doesn't do much for me.
07/19/2005 TheBuyer: It should, it's very well done.
07/21/2005 Mr. Pony (3.5): Dude, I can see that you threw a lot of yourself into this, but I'm not a big fan of poetry either. Ha ha, j/k.
07/21/2005 Mr. Joshua (4): The Molecule is quite possibly Acme's winningest recurring character (I even prefer him to Alfred P. Whitaker's charmingly demented creations), but this is the weakest episode yet in an otherwise compelling oeuvre. Mr. C., I remain confident that you will return to form in your next opus.