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Michael Penn sat amidst piles of crumpled paper, his guitar long since discarded in the corner of the bedroom. The muse had left him, but he refused to admit his sorry state. Whasn't there some kind of social angst gnawing at his core, making him feel like less of a human being amongst his fellow men? Wasn't there a deep-seeded hunger clawing his bowels, a feeling of not-belonging in a world intelligently designed to create safety in numbers? Was there not an emptiness in the right ventricle of his pumping heart that did not indicate a murmur, but in fact mimicked the feeling of a doomed satellite spinning desperately out of its home body's orbit? Wasn't there anything painful to write about anymore? Aimee Mann walked in the bedroom, wearing nothing but a pair of blue panties and his Slayer T-shirt and eating a half-pint of soy frozen yogurt. Chocolate. "Wanna fuck?" she asked. Stardom is for faggots, Penn thought.

Date Written: August 07, 2005
Author: Kenji X
Average Vote: 2

Comments:
08/9/2005 The Rid: You know, he just released a new album that's full of the kind of thing you mention here!
08/9/2005 Will Disney: Yes - Aimee Mann!
08/9/2005 The Rid: Re: This short and author's intentions: I may be wrong, but here goes. Michael Penn is an easy target. When ridiculing/sending up musicians or writers, shouldn't one attempt to pick a less easy target? Forget that Michael Penn knows a thing or two about melody and pacing. Forget that Aimee Mann really sucks. Forget that his lyrics are painfully earnest - in a bad way. Wouldn't it be more difficult/more fun to take the piss out of a legend? Like Bob Dylan (who has had his share of really, really, really bad tunes - and no, I'm not a "fan"), or John Lennon (the Beatles years - not the crappy solo years), or (insert artist here)? And Aimee Mann? C'mon. Anyone who writes music SPECIFICALLY for a PT Anderson movie (not just has a cameo in "Boogie Nights," Michael) loses all credibility - if she ever had any - and is therefore below ridicule. Just too simple. Whew! All this typing is making my meningitits itch.
08/9/2005 qualcomm: i thought aimee's magnolia songs were pretty good. also, this short is a ripoff of my al pacino short.
08/9/2005 The Rid: Really, qc? Are you a PT Anderson admirer, as well?
08/9/2005 qualcomm: no
08/9/2005 The Rid (2):
08/9/2005 anonymous: I WILL KILL ALL YOU FAGGOTS!! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO CRITIQUE MY SWEAT-LADEN EFFORTS!!!! YOU WILL SUCK THE STENCH OF MY RUPTURED COLON AS I STUFF YOUR SEVERED BALLS INTO YOUR MOUTHES!!!!! DIE DIE DIE!!!!! PLUS, I HAD MICHAEL PENN ON AS I WAS WRITING THIS SHORT. AIMEE MANN, YAY!!!!!
08/10/2005 anonymous: So Kenji X is which author's alter ego? Hrm?
08/10/2005 anonymous: I am no altar ego, I am merely the lowest avatar on the totem pole that is my split personality, you anon_user_ a prick.
08/10/2005 anonymous: I am the lost spunk of the artist formerly known as Cabot.