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"Nice night, there's a little muggy haze in the air."
"I always liked him, Muggy Hayes, best goddamned bluesman this side of the Delta."
"Sure, but he's got nothing on Errol 'Weeping Scrotum' Johnson."
"You've got that right."
"You'd think a guy with the last name Johnson would choose a better nickname than 'Weeping Scrotum'."
"It's the managers and agents who choose the names, and they're all Jews with inferiority complexes."
"You don't say? Well how do you explain Herschel 'The Jew' Himmelstien, my friend?"
"He was a Jew's harp player."
"You're kidding? He wasn't Jewish?"
"Sure he was, but he was black, too. A Black Jew."
"You are a regular fucking encyclopedia of worthless bullshit, sir!"
"I have to be, you think this face lands me any punani?"
"I should say not, you look like a babboon's asshole!"
"Damn right, watch what I do with this banana..."
"Jesus! Or should I say, Yaweh!"
Date Written: August 16, 2005Comments:
Author: Kenji X
Average Vote: 0.5
08/22/2005 Will Disney: Hey, guest author, thanks for publishing here on Acme!
08/22/2005 The Rid: You mean, "End scene," right?
08/22/2005 qualcomm: no, i think he means Aaaaaaand scene, as in something a director says at the end of a scene.
08/22/2005 qualcomm: i've always said it: guest shorts is where the action is.
08/22/2005 The Rid: Huh.
08/22/2005 The Rid: What, qualcomm, no new shorts from your fevered pen? Leaving it to the guests for now?
08/22/2005 anonymous: Aaaaaaaaannnd comment.
08/22/2005 qualcomm: my fevered pen is out of ink. i am... nothing.
08/22/2005 The Rid: I don't believe that for a minute. Part of it, anyway.
08/22/2005 TheBuyer: Author, I read your short.
08/22/2005 Mr. Pony: I feel this way: This short is to the joke "Jew" as Will and Grace is to the joke "Gay".
08/22/2005 TheBuyer (0.5): I am truly offended that you think that I think is funny.
08/22/2005 The Rid: I agree with TheByer, this short is rancid in its awfulness. TheBuyer, you like to drop that 1/2 star on the ones that offend you, eh?
08/22/2005 TheBuyer: Only if I'm feeling the Hate flow through me at the time. The Hate is caused not by a bad short, but because of the bad idea behind the bad short. For instance, this short is bad because of the execution; unattributed two person dialogue presented in a vacuum is a fucking horrow-show that almost never works. I hate the two-person dialogue. Worse than the execution is the premise - two persons talking about things that aren't funny but are obviously supposed to be funny. 'Weeping Scrotum' ... this short is beneath discussion, I'm sorry to have wasted your time.
Rid, to answer your question, the short itself doesn't offend me, it's not good enough, the fact that it was written and edited and presented to an audience offends me. The author thought this was good enough to get a laugh and was horribly, stupidly, dangerously wrong about that; he should be more thoughtful about the work he chooses to present to his audience.
08/22/2005 The Rid: I'm seriously glad I didn't write this.
08/22/2005 TheBuyer: Um, I don't hate you Author, if that's what you're thinking.
08/22/2005 Klause Muppet: Aaaaaaaand Scene! or as we thespianís sometimes say "Hurt'n for a Curtain!"
08/22/2005 anonymous: This author was just trying to provide content, to fill the sucking void that the "authors" of Acme have created. Your comments are received and given due consideration. I thank you for your time and give you a hearty fuck you.
08/22/2005 anonymous: Weren't we supposed to be writing bad shorts? I thought the bar had been set and the goal was to get below it? Sorry, must have misinterpreted all those other shorts.
08/22/2005 TheBuyer: sorry man, this is bile.
08/23/2005 Klause Muppet: I think we should avoid writing "to provide content" or "to fill the sucking void". Write when inspiration hits you. Write when you have a good idea. But let's stop writing just for the fuck of it. And if that means there is no pending guest shorts, then perhaps the GUEST PAGE can display top rated guest shorts as does the HOME PAGE.
08/23/2005 The Rid: Sorry, Klause, Disney's not here to see your rather sirloin idea.
08/23/2005 Klause Muppet: Hi Rid!