home authors guest shorts graphical shorts


Captain Thad Starquest hadn't counted on the complex and invasive ceremonial greeting of the Emissary of Bluon-Delta 9. Nor had he counted on the amount of time it would take to extract the ambassador's spiny member from his bleeding anus, having completed the Bulon-Delta Ninian ritual coupling of interstellar, trans-species friendship. The Council of Bulon-Delta 9 seemed sated at the conclusion of the 17-hour formal exchange. Starquest, buckling his United Galaxies magnibelt, was just ready to get on with the quadrant's trade negotiations. "All in the name of galactic peace and brothehood," Starquest thought. Captain Thad Starquest hadn't counted on gay aliens.

Date Written: August 16, 2005
Author: Kenji X
Average Vote: 2.28571

08/23/2005 Streifenbeuteldachs (3.5):
08/23/2005 The Rid: Since they're aliens, maybe they're not gay. Maybe gay is straight to them.
08/23/2005 Adolf Hitler (2.5):
08/23/2005 qualcomm: oops
08/23/2005 Mr. Pony (2.5): As usual, I'm with Hitler. I'm not clear on what joke this short wants to make.
08/23/2005 TheBuyer (2):
08/23/2005 The Rid (2.5):
08/23/2005 Litcube (2): Whoah!
08/23/2005 Litcube: I don't think this short can make up its mind. It's as though it tried to have a funny body, but then knew it failed. So then it said, "gay!".
08/23/2005 Klause Muppet: Hah! Litcube said 'gay'. Oh josh that's funny!
08/23/2005 Klause Muppet: Yes. Oh josh.
08/23/2005 Mr. Pony: Ha ha, you're gay too!
08/23/2005 Litcube: Ha ha!
08/23/2005 TheBuyer: You ALL are gays. ha!
08/23/2005 scoop (1): So, it appears the joke here is a little misdirection, larding the front end with ladle after ladle of dense, practically unreadable sci-fi jargon, and then, when we least expect bring the banal/familiar for a bit of sucker punch. There is nothing wrong with that, other than it really has been exhaustively done here. But there is something wrong with it when it involves something like homosexuality that may, may, have retained some transgressive schwag, like, in the early 80s. What's more confusing, the top of the short really doesn't contain anything amusing in it -- no jokes, no surprises, just line after line of impenetrable spacey gobbledygook. This is particularly unfortunate given the rich sci-fi vein already mined on this site. While I appreciate the effort to be different, those strained efforts are wasted when the end result is a rehash of an old joke all dolled up in a stilted alien language.
08/24/2005 Dick Vomit: I loved the word Bluon. Then I was saddened to see it typo'd as Bulon, which was a letddown on a attention-to-detail level. Then I saw it spelled Bulon AGAIN and everything just fell apart in my lap.
08/24/2005 Kenji X: I could say that was the word I spelled wrong on purpose, but such is not the case.
08/24/2005 Dick Vomit: BLUON! BLUON!